


Hole In My Heart (And Looking For A Piece That Fit)

by DefaltManifesto



Series: And We Run [3]
Category: inFAMOUS (Video Games), inFAMOUS: Second Son
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Dissociation, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, Flashbacks, Getting Together, Government Conspiracy, Grief/Mourning, Healing, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Politics, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Triggers, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 03:49:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10152998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/pseuds/DefaltManifesto
Summary: Sometimes overcoming the corrupt powers that be means facing down the dark parts inside yourself first.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title from The Littlest Things by Streetlight Manifesto (tweaked a little to make it more title-y). 
> 
> Thanks to Sublimediscordance for one again letting me ramble and rant and talk about the plot of this fic even though he isn't technically in the fandom. He's a great dude. 
> 
> Comments are loved and appreciated. I have three more fics planned. The next one will switch points of view, then Kuo, then Eugene. Let me know if you think I missed any tags.

[The tumblr](http://schizzar.tumblr.com)

 

“And now we can start in on the insurance audit paperwork.”

“No! Spare me Betty, my brain can’t take anymore,” Fetch groans.

The bills and paperwork for the Akomish fish cannery has taken over Betty’s desk and started to flow onto the floor.

“You said you wanted to know how to run a business,” Betty says. “And it’s tax season and renewal time for my insurance policies – you’re learning through a trial by fire in business paperwork.”

“Too much fire,” Fetch says, but pushes herself upright in her seat anyway and accepts the file Betty holds out for her.

Given that she and Eugene had spent the last three days on the reservation waiting for Kuo to wake up, she decided to make herself useful to Betty. After all, despite Delsin’s general hesitance to get the Akomish involved in any way, Betty said they were more than willing to protect them from prying eyes, but it still felt wrong to offer nothing in return. Fetch wishes she had picked something other than learning how to deal with bills by helping Betty. Numbers with that many commas makes her brain hurt.

“This form is just copying,” Betty says, pointing out the numbers and spaces Fetch needs to fill in with her pen. “So while you do that, I have a question for you.”

“Uh huh,” Fetch says, half paying attention.

“Since Delsin never tells me much even when I ask, I was just wondering why I saw you two kissing outside the cannery last night when I know for a fact he’s dating that nice boy Eugene,” Betty says.

Fetch drops her pen. “Uh…”

"Fill out the form dear. No wasting time, I have to get these sent in the mail today before it goes out,” Betty says, her tone as calm and kind as ever.

Fetch scribbles out some of the payroll on the form as her mind races. “I’m…dating Eugene technically, but sometimes I have sex with Delsin too. But Eugene knows that and Delsin knows that Eugene and I are also dating.”

Betty is silent. Fetch kind of wishes she knew how to lie more effectively, but it’s so hard to lie to Betty.

“Young people today are very strange,” Betty says after a few minutes of Fetch quietly copying numbers over. “As long as no one’s going behind anyone else’s back-“

“None of us would,” Fetch says, swallowing her embarrassment to look up and meet Betty’s eyes. “Delsin is my best friend and I love Eugene. I’d do anything for them.”

“Good,” Betty says. “Now hurry up with that form. I have another one for you after that.”

 

-.-

 

Delsin is watching Kuo when Fetch gets back to his house just outside the reservation. She’s still lying on the bed, flat on her back. Fetch hasn’t said anything, but she’s starting to wonder if Kuo will ever wake up.

“Anything exciting today?” she asks, taking a seat beside him.

“A little. She rolled over once and said Cole’s name. Then she rolled back,” Delsin says.

“Oh, riveting,” Fetch says with an eyebrow raise. She kicks her feet up to rest them in Delsin’s lap. “So Betty saw you and me making out the other night outside her place.”

"What?” Delsin asks, looking over at her with a panicked look. “What did she say?”

“She asked what we were doing,” Fetch says.

“And what did you tell her?”

"The truth?”

"You told Betty about our sex life?” Delsin asks, voice cracking.

“It’s not like I gave her the intimate details about your dick,” Fetch says. “Just that you know…it’s all three of us in different ways. And that we’re happy.”

"I know it’s just…thinking about Betty knowing I have sex is weird,” Delsin says.

Fetch snorts. “Seriously? What, did she think you and Eugene were gonna keep it in your pants ‘til you were married?”

“Okay, good point but-“

Delsin stops talking when Kuo rolls over abruptly and begins to puke all over the floor. It’s entirely liquid but that doesn’t make it any better to watch happen. Fetch gets to her feet first, knocking Delsin in the shoulder to jolt him out of his stunned phase.

“Go get something to clean up, I got this,” she says.

Kuo pushes herself up on shaky arms and Fetch dodges the vomit to sit on the bed next to her, grabbing the tissues from the bedside nightstand and holding them out to her. Kuo takes one and wipes her mouth before flopping down on her back. Her eyes glow blue like before, but there’s a pained awareness to them now.

"Wanna get out of this room?” Fetch asks.

Kuo nods. Fetches reaches out to her, keeping her gaze down and her movements slow. It’s a struggle not to flinch when Kuo takes her hand. The cold of her white skin and the icy vapor it exudes cuts right down to the bone but the last thing she wants to do right now is make Kuo feel even a little bit like a burden. Fetch half carries her to the living room, helping her stretch out on the couch before perching herself on the coffee table in front of her. Delsin disappears into the bedroom to clean up.        

“So,” Fetch says. “Do you know where you are?”

“Salmon Bay,” Kuo says, eyes sliding shut. Her voice is barely audible, the noise rattling around in her throat. “Water?”

“Yeah, hold on. You’re not gonna run on me, right?”

Kuo opens her eyes long enough to glare so Fetch heads to the kitchen to get a glass of water without comment. When she gets back, she helps Kuo sit up long enough to drink but after two sips, Kuo pushes the glass away and lays back down.

“Can’t drink too fast,” she says as her eyes slide shut again. “Why did you save me?”

"We know the truth about what the government was planning. They were going to use you to start fear mongering again to kill Conduits so…”

“You want to use me instead?”

Fetch sputters. “No…no! We aren’t going to make you do anything, it just didn’t seem right that you were getting punished.”

“Maybe I wanted to die. They were going to give me the death sentence, so maybe you didn’t save me from anything,” she says. “Maybe I deserve death.”

“Yeah well a few months ago I wanted to die too,” Fetch says. “Doesn’t have to suck you know, the rest of your life and all.”

“So what makes you think I should be saved then? Some anti-government hatred?” Kuo sounds…normal. Like Fetch. Like she didn’t just go through seven years of torture and pain.

“We found your dead drops,” Fetch says. “We know the truth, like I said.”

“Mm.”

"So why do you seem so fine?” Fetch asks.

Kuo’s eyes open and she gives a sidelong glance towards Fetch. “Do you think crying about what I went through will make it better?”

“Yeah,” Fetch says with a shrug.

“Well, I may not have been able to emote, but I was aware of what was happen. I had seven years to deal with and come to terms with my circumstances, so don’t think this is something you get to throw a pity party over,” Kuo says. “Am I free to go once I have my strength back or will you try to stop me?”

"Of course you are. We were sort of hoping you wouldn’t leave though, or at least I was,” Fetch says.

“Oh yeah?” Kuo almost sounds amused and it makes anger flare up in her gut given everything they went through to save her.

“You know, I wasn’t on board with rescuing you and all that in the first place, but I went with it because Delsin and Eugene wanted to, plus even if we didn’t _know_ each other, I feel a little solidarity with people trapped in Curdun Cay,” Fetch says.

“If you’re looking for thanks, you have the wrong woman,” Kuo says. She turns on her side away from Fetch.

 Fetch bites back an angry retort and head back to the bedroom before she changes her mind and says something she’ll regret. Delsin has finished cleaning and she follows him out to the trash as he throws it all away so they can talk in peace.

"We totally saved someone who didn’t want to be saved,” Fetch says.

“She just woke up,” Delsin says. He drops the trash lid down with a clatter. “It’s not like you or Eugene were perfectly fine and dandy when you got out either. Give her time.”

“Oh she seems perfectly fine to me,” Fetch says. “Fine enough to be a total bitch.”

"Like you weren’t?” Delsin folds his arms across his chest, eyebrows raising. “It’s not like angrily hunting down drug dealers and carving a fake neon Brent into the wall was the healthiest way to deal with your issues either. She’s just apathetic. Let her be.”

Anger flares up in her chest, Delsin’s words like a match to a powder keg. “Fuck you Delsin.”

“Fetch-“

She’s gone before he can say anything else.

 

-.-

 

“He’s not wrong,” Eugene says.

Fetch’s feet kick at Eugene’s computer chair as she swings her legs back and forth from where she’s perched on the desk. “Well no, but still. Didn’t have to be such a dick about it.”

“Yeah,” Eugene says. “But also it’s Delsin so…”

"You going back there tonight?” she asks.

Eugene pauses his game. “No. Probably not a good idea.” He doesn’t look at her.

“Okay, why not?” she asks.

“Just…” He shrugs. “She won’t recognize me or anything but if I tell her who I am she might hate me and like, that’s fine I completely understand and everything. I hate me too for what I did to her and you and everyone else. But…I don’t know. I’m not sure if it would help either of us.”

Fetch hooks her feet around the chair enough to turn it so Eugene has to face her. She slides her hands up to cup his jaw, forcing him to look up.

“I love you and I forgave you. Maybe she won’t. Maybe she’ll hate you forever and you know what? That’s fine. She’s got to make herself comfortable with her trauma just like the rest of us, but no matter how she feels, that doesn’t mean you’re a monster or that you’re to blame for anything that happened in there. Augustine had us all doing whatever she asked,” Fetch says.

She’s barely gotten the words out before Eugene starts hunching forward and she can’t see through the dim lighting and his glasses but she’s pretty sure he’s crying. There’s a brief, misdirected flare of anger towards Kuo before she tugs him forward. Shaky arms wrap around her back as he shoves his face into her stomach and actually starts to cry, shoulders hitching up in rapid motions. It makes her want to fight the whole damn world because well…Delsin is right. Anger is her main reaction to pretty much everything, and he’s right about letting Augustine live too but that doesn’t make her want to kill the bitch that did this to them any less.

Fetch rubs his back and lets him cry himself out. Eugene doesn’t cry often. She doesn’t know if it’s because of some weird masculinity thing or because what he went through was too damn much to actually process that often. Or maybe he’s just not a crier. Whatever the reason, when he does cry, she’s never sure what to do except hold him and let him know she’s not going anywhere.

 

-.-

 

Fetch returns to Delsin’s that night, giving him a chance to head back to Seattle and be with Eugene. He generally has a better idea of how to help Eugene than he does her, which she supposes is why they don’t date, they just fuck. Kuo is still on the couch with Eugene’s spare laptop on her lap.

“For people who claim I’m not a prisoner, you don’t leave me alone for very long,” Kuo says.

Fetch sits down on the couch next to her. “It’s for your protection you know. You really think you could defend yourself in the state you’re in if the military comes crashing through those doors? Or the Akomish?”

Kuo is silent for a moment. “You make a good point.”

“Like I said before, if you want to leave, go for it,” Fetch says. “It’d just be a bit of a letdown.”

“Do you need something?”

“I was going to watch TV,” Fetch says. “If you want to join you can.”

Unsurprisingly, Kuo leaves for the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. Fetch sighs and loads up Netflix.

 

-.-

 

Kuo wakes her up, not with a scream, but with the freezing cold. It creeps under the door to Delsin’s room, filling the room with an icy vapor that makes her shiver and shake as she makes her way across the living room to the other bedroom, pounding on the door in warning before opening it. Kuo thrashes on the bed, the room filled with the vapor as thick as smoke. Fetch grits her teeth and approaches the bed. Grabbing Kuo’s arms makes her curse, ice covering her hands in a second but it’s enough to wake Kuo up.

She jerks away from Fetch and the ice shatters as she does. A moment later, the vapor hisses and withdraws, coiling in and disappearing into Kuo’s body. Fetch doesn’t say anything as she leaves, grabbing the blanket off the back of the couch and wrapping herself up in it before searching Delsin’s cabinets for some sort of booze. She needs a fucking drink, and it’d probably help Kuo too. She finds some vodka, cheap, but it’ll do the trick. She grabs shot glasses from the cabinet above the oven and heads back into the room with a sleepy shuffle.            

Kuo is sitting upright, head hanging down between her knees. Fetch pours one of the shot glasses full and passes it to Kuo before doing the same for herself and setting the bottle on the nightstand. The alcohol burns down her throat to sit in her empty stomach but it warms her up a bit, chases the way the chill of having to deal with another person deep in their trauma when the last thing they want is help. Kuo knocks the shot back and lets the glass fall back on the bed.

“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing…” she says in a quiet whisper Fetch almost doesn’t hear.

Fetch sits down on the floor next to the nightstand and wraps the blanket tighter around herself. “Yeah, me neither. Will getting more drunk help?”

Kuo looks up enough to glance at her. Her eyes glow a bright blue in the darkness of the room. “Isn’t encouraging alcoholism irresponsible of you?”

“Well, as Delsin likes to remind me, I went on a murderous rampage and carved up drug dealers for like, a week and a half after I got out,” Fetch says. “So my life choices aren’t exactly the best. I’m not here to take care of you, okay? I take care of Eugene and Delsin and my fucking self and that’s it. I’m too fucking tired to deal with your shit. Drinking helps numb the brain enough to fall asleep on nights like this though, so take it if you want.”

Kuo laughs, bitter and rough. “God...”

She doesn’t go for more alcohol though, instead stretching out back on the bed, slow and stilted like every motion hurts. Fetch wonders if it does. Thinking about Kuo’s trauma makes her stomach do funny things though so she grabs the bottle of vodka and drinks a few swallows straight from the bottle.

“Look, I don’t like thinking about Curdun Cay. I’ll listen if you wanna talk about it though,” she says.

“Thought you just said you can’t ‘deal with my shit’,” Kuo says, raising her arms just enough to do the scare quotes.

“I don’t mean half the shit I say. I’m tired as hell but also I get where you’re at,” Fetch says.

“No you don’t,” Kuo says. “You have no idea.”

“I know what Augustine was capable of,” Fetch says. “So…yeah. Shit sucks.”

“I want to kill myself,” Kuo says.

“Pretty sure every other Conduit that got out of that hellhole feels the same,” Fetch says. “So you gonna do it or what?”

“I spent all day catching up on what happened while I was locked up,” Kuo continues as if she hadn’t even heard Fetch. Her tone is…detached. It’s not the bitter sarcasm from earlier, or the apathetic boredom. It’s almost robotic. “I caused so much pain, so many families to be ripped apart, so many people to be tortured, all because I was too afraid to die.”

Fetch sits up a little straighter. “That wasn’t the only reason.”

“It was the main one. If I was a better person, a stronger person, we would’ve tried to cure the plague no matter what,” Kuo says, voice still off kilter. “I wonder if I had tried harder, if I had said the right things if maybe Cole…”

Fetch waits but Kuo doesn’t say anything else. After a minute more, she gets to her feet and looks down to see Kuo sleeping, limp and still on the bed. She takes another swig from the bottle and heads back to her own room, trying not to think too hard about her own decisions. Her own mistakes.

 

-.-

 

Really, Fetch had thought she was better. Between Delsin and Eugene, she’d felt like she’d come to terms with Brent’s death and was moving past it, but over the next few days as she flits between the house and Betty’s office, she can’t help the panicked feeling in her chest like she’s on the edge of tipping back into a place she doesn’t want to be. It’s like anger and fear all at once, stirring and coiling in her chest, toxic and pulling at her mind. She doesn’t sleep much, tossing and turning in bed.

When Delsin shows up, it’s a relief. Kuo isn’t really great company, especially when she kind of has a craving for carving up drug dealers’ bodies instead of just restraining them for the cops to find later. Delsin raises an eyebrow when he sees her pacing the living room floor. He drops his bag by the door and then leans against the wall, arms folding across his chest as he watches her.

“So what’s up with you?”

"Just…” She stops and pushes her hands into her hair. “I feel like I’m going crazy. I just want to destroy like, everything.”

"That seems a little…regressive,” Delsin says with a frown.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious,” she says. “Look, I’m just going to go track down some criminals or something. Call me when you want me to come back.”

Delsin catches her arm before she can leave. “Look, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for before. I shouldn’t have said that. You’ve come a long way and me rubbing your nose in it when you were just expressing some frustration wasn’t fair. I’m sorry.”

The apology barely scrapes the surface of the mess in her mind. “Thanks D. I appreciate it.”

She shakes herself out of his grip and heads out. She feels a bit like a bitch for not really hanging around and blowing him off instead, but she feels like she’s going to just explode and she’d rather not do that around him or Kuo. Her phone rings before she even gets to the edge of the reservation. Normally she’d ignore it, but when she sees Betty’s name pop up she slows to a stop and answers.

"Hi dear,” Betty says. “Can you swing by the fish cannery on your way out of town? I want to see if Eugene could fix my laptop. I can’t get the damn thing to turn on anymore.”

“Yeah, sure,” Fetch says.

It’s the last thing she wants to do, but Betty’s…Betty. She’s the mother Fetch never really had, the one that cares and treats her like she matters. Still, by the time she gets to Betty’s office, her anxiety must read on her face because Betty’s smile dies immediately as she stands up from her desk.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” Fetch says, and just like that she can feel herself crumpling – her face, her mind, her body.

“Oh my…” Betty says, coming around the desk and grabbing the edge of it so she can guide herself down to Fetch’s level, pulling her into a hug.

Fetch clings to her as the sobs start wracking her body, some deep gut level pain breaking out and flowing through the ugly blocked up ick that had been in her chest. The anger dissolves almost immediately. More than anything, she just feels overwhelmed.

“Alright, you’re okay,” Betty says. She reaches into the pocket of her jacket and pulls out a package of tissues.

Fetch makes an ugly snorting noise as she sniffs and digs through the package to pull out a few rough tissues to wipe her face down with as she struggles to stop her breath from heaving in and out of her lungs in short gasps. The tissues are quickly stained with tears and mascara. She’ll have to ask Betty to use the bathroom to touch up her make-up, because she’ll be damned if she shows up at Eugene’s like this.

“You want to tell me what this is all about?” Betty asks, taking the package with the remaining clean tissues and placing it back in her pocket. She leaves her arm tucked around Fetch’s shoulders though, so Fetch lets herself stay slumped into Betty’s warm side as she tries to steady her thoughts.

“I barely even know,” she says after a few moments. “I’m just…tired of being the strong one. Delsin and Eugene have so many issues and I can’t…I’ve been so focused on making sure _they’re_ okay and I didn’t even realize it was bad until I was t-trapped in that f-fucking house with Kuo.” She balls the issues up in her fist, swallowing past the tight knot of anxiety in her throat. “She just reminds me of…me.”

“Well,” Betty says, squeezing Fetch’s shoulder. “I’ll say this. Delsin certainly likes to make life complicated for everyone, that’s just part of how being in his life in any way works. But like with all enjoyable things you love, you still have to look out for yourself first. I didn’t get to where I am in life by putting other people before myself all the time.”

“Kinda seems like you do,” Fetch says with a watery smile.

“That’s just a trick of mine,” Betty says. “You live enough years, you learn how to make everyone feel like you’re giving them the world even on the days you don’t have the energy to really give them that. But I took breaks then, and I still do, because sometimes we need time to deal with our own things, without someone else’s input on how we should be dealing with it.”

“But we’ve all been through this…this shit in Curdun Cay,” Fetch says, rubbing the tissue over her cheeks as a few more tears spill out. “We need each other.”

“Well that’s part of the problem,” Betty says. “You can’t need other people. Of course we all do need someone in our lives, but if you always need each other, that’s just codependency. I was like that with my late husband.”

“What happened to him?”

“He died. Shot by a cop. It’s why Delsin was so furious when Reggie first said he was going to become one,” Betty says. “They said he looked like he was reaching for a gun but he was just getting his wallet after getting pulled over.”

“Jesus,” Fetch says.

“We’re not Christians, but I understand the sentiment,” Betty says with that dry tone of voice that Fetch has come to enjoy. “My point is that when he died, I didn’t just grieve, I thought my whole world had ended because I hadn’t ever bothered to have any real deep connections with other people. I didn’t know who I could talk to, even though I had my sister and my own parents were still alive. I put so much into him that when he was gone, I didn’t know how to talk to anyone else.”

“Not to sound insensitive, but there’s literally no one else,” Fetch says. “For any of us.”

“Now, that may be true,” Betty says. “So what you need are boundaries. You have to be able to say enough is enough and that you need to be able to work through your own problems. I love Delsin, but that boy can be mighty selfish. And knowing what I know about Eugene, I imagine it can feel a bit like you’re just complaining about nothing in comparison to what he’s got going on, but you can’t look at it like that. You’re just as important as those two are.”

“I guess…I haven’t been really feeling like I am,” Fetch says.

“Yes, well, men have a tendency to make women feel that way, even the ones they love,” Betty says.

“Even your husband?” Fetch asks, looking up at her.

“Even my late husband yes,” Betty says. “And if you don’t want to tell them, I’m here, and I’m willing to listen.”

“Well I did just cry all over you so maybe I’ll call it good for now and come back later,” Fetch says, her smile feeling a little more real this time.

“That’s alright with me,” Betty says. “Now, get up and help me stand. My bones don’t like the whole standing thing so much these days.”

“I’ve got it.”

 

-.-

 

Fetch thinks a lot about Betty’s advice as she walks through Seattle, sticking to the back alleys as she always does to avoid being recognized. She’s right in a lot of ways. Fetch doesn’t like to acknowledge how much she truly hates herself, but now when she thinks about it, it’s affecting her more than she realized. She doesn’t think too highly of her own problems. On some level, she almost thinks she deserves it, the misery and pain she went through. Part of it’s because of Brent, but that was just a catalyst for the darker feeling that had always lurked in her, telling her she wasn’t worth much.

When she gets to Eugene’s, she finds him in front of his big wall of computer monitors. A cursory glance reveals that he’s in the DUP servers again. She hops up onto the desk and nudges his leg to get his attention given that he hadn’t even noticed her coming in, too buried in his work.

“Hey, what’re you doing?” she asks.

“Just putting stuff together for when I finally dump it all into the Internet for everyone’s consumption. I figure if I can do all the legwork of piecing it together for everyone, there won’t be any real way for the government to try and spin it,” Eugene says. “They’ll try, but at least this way people can see right through it.”

“Have you asked Delsin to ask Kuo about releasing her dead drops?” Fetch asks.

“Not yet,” Eugene says. He bites his lip and then turns towards her. “I think it’s best if I ask her in person.”

“Oh yeah?” Fetch doesn’t bother to hide her surprise.

“Yeah. I mean all I’m doing now is avoiding her because I’m scared. If I keep doing that, I’ll just end up getting overwhelmed again and again,” Eugene says.

"Makes sense,” Fetch says. It’s the perfect time to bring up her own issues but the thought of doing so makes her stomach roll. “You think you can take a break long enough to watch a movie or something? We still haven’t gotten through that list of movies Delsin keeps saying we need to see.”

"Yeah, sure,” Eugene says, a relaxed smile coming to his lips.

They curl up on Eugene’s bed together, Fetch’s face mostly buried in his neck but he doesn’t make any comment about how she can’t see the movie like that. The thing is, Eugene gets it. He gets that talking about it isn’t easy so he lets her just take the comfort she needs without pushing her. Except, maybe she needs someone to push her. Betty is right. She has to deal with it, whatever the hell _it_ is. Holding Eugene can take her mind off it for a while, but it’ll always be there, waiting for the next time she’s too tired to keep it in.

 

-.-

 

She channels the energy into spending most nights out in the city, working her way up the food chain of the local gangs. She blows up stash after stash and leaves tips for the police here and there to help them locate various warehouses for raids. Somehow, her antics haven’t stirred up the attention of the military. She has a feeling that has something to do with the fact that she’s helping and the local police have really only benefited from the Conduits being around. It’s something positive at least, and she’s pretty sure that eventually she’ll do enough damage to convince the gangs there’s no money to be made in Seattle.

Maybe it’s wishful thinking.

Either way, by the time she’s set to head back to Salmon Bay, she feels calmer. She’s pretty sure it’s just a façade. Eventually whatever it is she’s running from will rear its ugly head again but for now, she can just keep going on. Eugene goes with her when she heads back, nervous but in the sort of way where the anticipation is probably worse than the actual event. At least, she hopes that’s how it is. When they get to Delsin’s, Kuo looks…the same; stone-faced and apathetic.

Eugene stops in the doorway and stares at her. She just stares back and Fetch looks over at Delsin, unsure if she should intervene and grab Eugene before he freaked out or what. But then Eugene takes a deep breath and gives a short nod.

“Hi,” he says.

“You really are just a child, aren’t you?” Kuo says in response.

Eugene gives a nervous laugh. “What?”

"You must’ve been young when you first saw me,” Kuo says, her expression not changing much but her tone a lot friendlier. “You’re the one who deciphered my dead drops right?”

“Uh, yeah, that was me,” Eugene says.

"Good, come sit down. We should go over what you have,” Kuo says. “If you want to bury the legitimacy of the military without accidentally triggering a coup, you’ll have to be careful.”

“Oh, I guess that answers my question on if I can release the dead drops,” Eugene says.

Fetch glances at Delsin who shrugs in response as the other two begin to talk in earnest. It’s the most animated she’s seen Kuo since she woke up so Fetch takes it as a good sign and follows Delsin outside when he jerks his thumb in the direction of the front door.

“Who knew taking down the U.S. military could make someone so happy,” Fetch says, leaning up against the wall. “I guess Eugene had nothing to be worried about.”

“Well, it’s not like she ever knew him, not really,” Delsin says. “If it’s going to be traumatizing for anyone it’s going to be Eugene. I don’t think Kuo really associated him with her trauma.”

“What, you get that out of a psychology book, Smokes?” Fetch asks.

It’s worth the jab to see Delsin flush bright red. “Maybe? I’ve been trying to not be so stupid when I say things to you and Eugene.”  

“Shit, really?”

Delsin shrugs. “I just don’t like saying the wrong thing and pushing too hard.”

"Yeah well sometimes we…I…need a push,” Fetch says, unable to meet his eyes as she says it. “Eugene is too nice sometimes.”

“So I’m for you what you are to him,” Delsin says.

“Huh?” Her curiosity makes her look up at him.

“You haven’t noticed?” she asks, eyebrows raising.

“Uh, no? Notice what?”

“You always get to call him out on his bullshit,” Delsin says. “I mean I do too but I got to be careful about it. You just get to say it and be a total asshole about it.”

"I am not-“

Somehow, Delsin’s eyebrows raise higher.

“Okay, but that’s just my personality,” Fetch says. “But I get the point you’re making. Yes, I need you to call me on my bullshit, even when it makes me angry, because I’m…making a mess of it on my own.”

“Was watching the news though,” Delsin says. “Looks like you’ve been helping the Seattle PD out quite a bit so you can’t be making that big of a mess of anything given that apparently the cops have been able to capture everyone alive.”

“Yeah, but still,” Fetch says. “It’s just a way to distract myself.”

"From what?”

She pushes herself away from the wall, panic rising quick in her chest as her brain scrambles around the words she wants to say and admit to herself and him. It makes her want to scream. “I…can’t. I’m trying D, really. I’m trying to admit it to myself in my own fucking head and I can’t.”

“C’mere.”

Fetch doesn’t resist when he hauls her into a hug, instead deflating into his grip and wrapping her arms loosely around his waist. Delsin’s chin rests on the top of her head. For a moment, they just stand there and it’s comforting in the way hugging Betty had been, a reassurance that she matters to him and that she’s worth this, no matter what’s in her head.

“I just don’t know what to do,” Fetch mumbles into his chest.

"I’d say you need a break but idleness just seems to make it worse,” Delsin says.

Before Fetch can say anything in response, the front door opens and Eugene comes out, practically bouncing from excitement.

“You guys should come inside,” he says. “Kuo has some information.”

Delsin squeezes her shoulder as she pulls away to follow Eugene back into the house. Kuo has the laptop sitting on her folded knees, tapping away at the keyboard as Eugene takes a seat next to her and Fetch and Delsin gather around behind them.

“First, I must say that I’m glad you found the file I stored away in Fort Phillipe,” Kuo says. “They’re some of the old files I had, documents that prove what Eugene was starting to suspect – that DARPA was using the First Sons technology and that their research was turned over to the military shortly after they were disbanded for murdering the remaining citizens after the Empire Event.”

Kuo sounds excited, but her expression is still the same sort of apathetic look that freaks Fetch out a little. She turns her eyes back to the screen instead.

“DARPA had Sasha in custody, which means it’s incredibly likely that the military still has her given that the DUP has no real file on Sasha, at least not one that would suggest she was ever in their possession,” Kuo says.

"So if the military has Sasha, then whatever they were planning to do with you, they can just do with her,” Delsin says.

"It’s actually worse than that,” Eugene says. “Remember what I told you about Sasha’s powers? She could control people through her tar by poisoning the water supply and there was a point in time when they injected it into a spray and used it on a wide swath of people. It’s possible they’re planning on doing something along those lines with her power.”

“God dammit we should’ve left the DUP in power,” Fetch says. “Not really, but I’m starting to feel that way. So what the hell do we do?”

“Remember that file on Moya? The empty one?” Eugene asks. “I have a feeling the DUP knew something was up and it has to have something to do with her. I mean, DARPA was a unit of the military and given all the general mystery around Moya, it wouldn’t be all that surprising if she didn’t actually go MIA and the military is now using her for something else. She’d be the best fit to utilize Sasha given all of her involvement with Cole.”

“That part is a bit of a stretch,” Delsin says. “But so was your last theory and that was entirely true so…what do we do?”

“Between Eugene and I, we should be able to find some trace of Sasha and where she ended up,” Kuo says. “Once we locate her, we can get her out of military custody. In the meantime, Eugene can work on slowly releasing the information we have to hopefully destroy the military’s legitimacy. If we prove that they were using Sasha to do some sort of harm on the citizens, that’s more than enough to actually result in some sort of legal action against them.”

“I’ll do some digging tonight back at my place,” Eugene says. “It’s going to take a bit longer considering that I’m not really familiar with the military’s system but if there’s proof of what we suspect, I’ll find it.”

“It never ends does it?” Fetch asks as she straightens up. “Just one more rabbit hole after another.”

“Governments are hard, and sometimes enact foolish policies,” Kuo says. “But it’s the military that is always itching for a chance to throw the law out the window and rule with an iron fist. If their leaders are compromised, Conduits stand a chance.”

“And just out of curiosity, why are you suddenly on board with all of this?” Fetch asks.

Delsin makes an odd noise like he’s about to object but he doesn’t get a chance.

“If I help, I can undo some of the damage I’ve done. I can sit and wallow in what I’ve done and what’s been done to me all I want,” Kuo says. “But the least I can do to make up for my actions is protect the Conduits that are left.”

“And after? What will you do?” Fetch isn’t sure why she’s pushing Kuo so much. Maybe it’s because she knows Kuo feels like she felt, knows that right now this is the only thing keeping Kuo alive. It’s a total dick move but…she never claimed to be nice.

“I’ll worry about that later,” Kuo says.

“Yeah, Fetch, maybe you wanna ease up there,” Eugene says, eyebrows raising.

“Right. Sorry,” Fetch says.

Kuo nods in response. “Is it possible for me to start training?”

“Just clean up after yourself,” Eugene says. “I have a pretty decent data manipulation shield over the area to stop satellites from finding us, but try not to leave any noticeable patches of trees missing or something.”

"Can I join you?” Delsin asks.

“Why?” Kuo asks.

“Well I mean, all you guys got secret agent training and I’m just sort of along for the ride?” He shrugs. “It’d be nice to actually have some skills instead of just winging it.”

“I can do that,” Kuo says.

“I’ll join,” Fetch says. “I want to see what you can do.”

“Well you guys have fun smashing each other to pieces,” Eugene says. “I’m gonna pass.”

 

-.-

 

For a while, Fetch and Delsin sit at the edge of the cleaning and watch Kuo rediscover herself. It sounds a bit dramatic to explain it that way, but watching Kuo put herself through her paces with her powers, struggling over and over to get things right is a little like watching herself back when she first got hers. After the fifth time Kuo fails to fire off an ice beam longer than a few feet, Fetch stands up and jogs over to her.

"Alright, so let’s try something else before you get too frustrated,” Fetch says.

“My damn face barely makes any expressions, how can you tell?” Kuo asks, voice bitter as she tries and falls again to throw the ice beam.

“Oh so you’re aware of that?” Fetch asks.

“Just help.”

“Right so you’re acting like you’re afraid of it,” Fetch says. “I can tell with how you move. You don’t want to try and control it too much otherwise you got such a tight grip, you can’t let it flow out properly.”

“I’ve always been afraid of it,” Kuo says. “I never had time to be comfortable with it, not really.”

Fetch sort of wants to reach out and hug her because she gets that, really. For a long time, especially after Brent, she’d seen her powers as something inside of her that acted and hurt others without her consent or control. Kuo doesn’t seem much like that hugging type so she keeps her hands to herself.

“It can feel like a monster but it’s not,” Fetch says. “So try and relax a little.”

“Thanks.” Kuo doesn’t sound very thankful but Fetch doesn’t really blame her. ‘Relax’ is hardly the most helpful direction.

Kuo takes a few breaths, steadying herself, Fetch watches her shoulders with a careful eye, and slowly, breath by breath, the tension begins to release and her shoulders start to slump. The tension is still there, but enough of it has eased that the next time she raises her hand, the ice shoots out of her like a beam, splintering the tree on the other side of the clearing straight down the middle. A nervous laugh escapes Kuo.

“Okay, that’s progress,” Kuo says. “Sorry, I won’t be much help until I get control of this again Delsin.”

“That’s cool,” Delsin calls back.

“Alright so what else you got?” Fetch asks. “Wait, quick question.”

Kuo turns to look at her.

“So the rest of us are pretty dependent on a power source for our powers. But you don’t seem to have that problem,” Fetch says.

“My power seems to be self-generating,” Kuo says. “Cole always had to absorb power for his and sometimes I have to wait but…the ice always comes back.”

“Lucky you,” Fetch says. “Alright. So what else can you do?”

Kuo goes through her paces, becoming noticeably more confident as she works. She builds ice towers, throws ice grenades that shatter and burst midway through the air, and even generates an odd sort of shield that seems like it’s some sort of cross between ice and water. By the end of it, she’s swearing and panting, but she seems happier. It’s hard to tell with her expression never changing but almost all the tension seems to have bled out of her.

"Definitely not what I used to be,” she says.

"Well you spent seven years locked up so I’d say that wasn’t a bad performance at all considering,” Delsin says as he jogs over to them. “I wouldn’t mind that ice shield power.”

"Well you don’t have concrete anymore,” Fetch says.

"I’m sorry, what are we talking about?” Kuo asks.

“Delsin’s a power sponge,” Fetch says. “He absorbs other people’s powers because he’s a dirty thief.”

"Hey,” Delsin says, elbowing her side.

“Yeah that’s going to happen over my dead body,” Kuo says, the tension returning to her all at once. “I’m not letting anyone copy of my powers again.”

“Easy,” Delsin says. “It’s a nifty power but without blast cores there’s no practical reason to take it anyway. Plus it obviously makes you uncomfortable so…”

"He’s really matured as a person,” Fetch says, keeping her tone deliberately light. “He didn’t even ask with me.”

“Hey what the hell? Is today throw Delsin under the bus day?”

Fetch grins. “That’s every day for me.”

“You are so mean-“

“Uh huh-“

Fetch keeps an eye on Kuo, her own heart beat steadying as she watches her relax more as they banter. In Curdun Cay, reading body language was a survival skill. It wasn’t one taught by anyone intentionally, but one she picked up to avoid the beatings and misdirect extra attention. She has a feeling she’ll be using it a lot.

 

-.-

 

Eugene and Delsin head back to Seattle that night, which leaves Fetch and Kuo on the couch. Kuo stays glued to the laptop, either talking with Eugene or sifting through files, Fetch doesn’t ask. Privacy was non-existent in Curdun Cay. Being able to have some boundaries, no matter how small was important. At least she thought so. Instead of badgering Kuo, she turns her attention to the TV, some reality crap about building houses close to areas of intense Ray Field Radiation and how to shield from it if you want the cheap land.

TV definitely got stranger with time.

“Hey I have a question,” Kuo says, shutting the laptop. “The show you’re watching…if there’s still Ray Field Radiation, how come the plague isn’t still around?”

“Vaccines,” Fetch says, curling her knees up to her chest and resting her chin on them. “Everyone got vaccinated as soon as it was created, I mean we were all hysterical you know? Apparently it absorbs radiation or something. I don’t know.”

“So then how did you get your powers?” Kuo asks.

“Not sure. I think I read a theory somewhere that the vaccination just aggravated our Conduit genes and activated them?” Fetch shrugs. “I got mine a few months after I got the vaccine so maybe there’s some truth to it.”

“Huh…” Kuo says. “People are so easily motivated when they’re scared. We’re running on borrowed time.”

“What do you mean?” Fetch asks.

“It’s just a matter of time before the military fabricates a disaster to convince everyone to do something else again,” Kuo says. “And from everything I’ve looked into, it looks like we’re on the border of a military coup. The public just isn’t pay attention.”

“If they come after us again, I’ll kill them all,” Fetch says.

Kuo shakes her head. “If they want you, they’ll get you. The only person who had a chance of standing up to their might was Cole and he’s long dead.”

“Can you…tell me about him?”

Kuo tilts her head to the side, and if her face moved Fetch is sure she’d look puzzled. “Why?”

“I mean the world painted him as a monster,” Fetch says. “And I know what they say about me isn’t true, and the same about what they said about you. So I just wanted to know I guess.”

“Cole is…was…complicated. Even though I disagreed with a lot of his choices, I can see why he was making the choices he did. He had everything ripped away from him,” Kuo says. “His girlfriend, his family, and then he was given the power to fight back and was always looked down upon even when he saved everyone. By the time we got to New Marais, he still had some good in him but…it wasn’t long before he lost that too.”

“Did you love him?”

“Definitely not,” Kuo says, a note of disgust in her voice. “I was quite happy to learn his girlfriend’s death made him cagey to romantic advances. The original plan was to have me seduce him.”

"I mean I know he’s evil and stuff, but I don’t know…I’d tap that,” Fetch says.

Kuo’s lips twitch, probably in disgust but Fetch counts any expression as a good thing.

"I suppose he might be attractive to people who like men,” Kuo says after a moment.    

"Wait, you’re a lesbian?” Fetch asks.

"Yeah. If anything I was attracted to Nix, even though she made me want to rip my hair out on a pretty regular basis.”

“Huh.”

“So what about you?” Kuo asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Delsin and Eugene,” Kuo says. “You love them?”

Fetch nods. “Just in different ways. Delsin’s like my best friend, and Eugene’s my boyfriend we just don’t fuck because I’m pretty sure he’s only sexually attracted to guys. I don’t know. It’s complicated and weird.”

“It seems. Nice.” Kuo looks down at her lap.

“I mean yeah, it is. My brother was the only one who loved me and he’s gone now but…having those two makes it easier you know? Like family,” Fetch says. “But better because we chose each other.” Kuo doesn’t respond so Fetch decides to change the subject instead. “So your face. You can’t make expressions then?”

Kuo looks up. “No, I don’t think so. My face seems to have forgotten, though I think that might be because it hasn’t moved in years. I guess I should count myself lucky that I can still talk.”

Fetch reaches out and before Kuo gets a chance to stop her, pokes her fingers on to either side of Kuo’s lips and then pulls them into the rough shape of a smile.

“What are you doing?” Kuo asks, exasperation clear in her voice.

"Helping your muscles remember,” Fetch says, unable to stop herself from laughing a little bit.

“I frowned more than I smiled,” Kuo manages to say around her fingers. “Maybe start there.”

“Mm, good idea,” Fetch says with an overly serious nod. She pulls Kuo’s lips down next, farther than necessary to accomplish an over dramatic frown. “There you go.”

“I hate you,” Kuo says, but the look in her eyes is happy for the first time so Fetch just smiles in response.

“We’ll work on your eyebrows next,” Fetch says, finally letting go of Kuo’s face. “I want to see you crook an eyebrow at Delsin when he says something dumb.”

“A worthy goal,” Kuo says dryly.

Fetch turns back to the TV, unable to help a smile as Kuo stretches out and tucks her head against the arm rest.

 

-.-

 

Fetch wakes up that night with Kuo’s hands on her shoulders. She jolts upright and sucks in a rough breath as her mind races and her heart pounds from the grip the nightmare has on her. Kuo sits down on the edge of the bed, face as impassive as ever. Fetch’s nose crinkles in disgust as she picks at her sweat soaked shirt.

"Gross,” she mumbles.

“I brought the vodka for you,” Kuo says. “Though from what I understand Conduits don’t get drunk very easily.”

“You just gotta try real hard,” Fetch says. She takes the bottle and sets it on the bedside table before she can attempt to get plastered. She flops back on the bed and turns her face into the pillow, inhaling the scent of smoke that Delsin always seems to leave behind wherever he goes. It helps, a little anyways. “Was it the screaming? I don’t usually scream.”

“Just mumbling. I was getting water from the kitchen,” Kuo says.

"Oh…good.” Fetch opens her eyes and stares at the far wall.

“Brent is your brother right?” Kuo asks.

“ _Was_ my brother…I killed him,” Fetch says. “Didn’t mean to.”

“What do you mean?”

"I mean that I want to go to sleep now,” Fetch says. She shoves her hands against her eyes like that will somehow push the tears back in.

“I’m sorry,” Kuo says as she gets up.

"Wait.” Fetch pulls her hands away so she can look at Kuo. She’s easy to find in the darkness, her eyes glowing with a piercing light blue aura. “Thank you for waking me up.”

“Of course. You’d do the same for me.”

Fetch doesn’t sleep the rest of the night.

 

-.-

 

“We should spar.”

Fetch looks up from her phone as Kuo steps over towards her. Kuo pushes her hair back and wipes some of her sweat off her forehead. She’d spent most of the morning practicing in the clearing they had found yesterday while Fetch watched and occasionally offered advice. The offer takes her by surprise.

“You sure?”

“I can go through the motions all I want. If we’re going after Sasha, I need to be ready – really ready,” Kuo says. “And I can’t do that without fighting someone else.”

“Alright, but I’m going easy on you,” Fetch says as she gets to her feet and pockets her phone.

“Well, we’ll see how long that lasts.”

Fetch knows from fighting Delsin that her stasis bubble grenades won’t do much against another prime Conduit, but she doesn’t want to do anything too complicated anyways, not when Kuo is still getting her feet under her, at least that’s how she feels until she gets hit with the first beam of ice and is knocked off her feet. She gasps for breath and melds into neon to get away before Kuo can hit her with another one.

Lesson learned, Fetch shifts tactics, darting a zig-zagging path across the field and trying to sneak in short blasts of neon. Kuo avoids most by disappearing into vapor. They end up half-chasing, half-fighting each other, only hitting one another on occasion as they dash and jolt their way across the clearing. By the time Kuo manages to straight up sucker punch her, Fetch is too tired to even bother dashing away again, instead rolling onto her back and squinting through the sunlight up at Kuo.

“So…that whole regenerating ice thing really gives you an advantage,” Fetch says between gasps of breath.

“Your powers to leave quite a sting though,” Kuo says, extending a hand to help her up.

Fetch takes it, surprised that Kuo’s hand doesn’t feel cold like before and that the icy vapor that usually radiates off of it as gone. “Your arms a good way to read how much power you’ve used, huh?”

Kuo looks down. “Huh. I guess you’re right. I never noticed. Most of my fighting was when I was fighting for my life so I didn’t have a chance to really analyze it, though if I concentrate I know I can make my hands feel warm.” She reaches out, fingers pressing lightly to Fetch’s chin to tilt her head to the side. “Looks like that bruise is already healing. Sorry for the sucker punch.”

“Well we didn’t really say punching was off limits,” Fetch says. “How’s your hand to hand combat training?”

Kuo’s hands return to brace on her hips. “Pretty decent. I’m sure that will come back easier than the powers.”

“Mine’s passable, definitely better than Eugene or Delsin, but I wouldn’t mind testing my skills against you sometime,” Fetch says. “Just…not right now. I need a little bit of recovery time.”

“Will you need to go back to Seattle to recharge?” Kuo asks.

“Nah, Betty lets me use the sign over the fish cannery,” Fetch says. “Speaking of, I’m supposed to help her with paperwork if you want to join. It’s not the most thrilling work but you haven’t really met anyone else so…”

“Betty…she’s the one Delsin went after Augustine for, right?” Kuo asks as she trails after Fetch back into the woods.

“The whole tribe technically but mostly Betty,” Fetch says. “She’s a good person. She’s the one who convinced everyone to hide us. It’s a risk, especially after everything they went through for Delsin before, so I try and help out if I can.”

"I’d like to meet her,” Kuo says.

They continue in silence for a while, until a niggling thought that’s been hanging around the back of Fetch’s mind finally bubbles up and pops out of her mouth.

“Can I ask you something that might be totally out of bounds?” Fetch asks.

“Sure,” Kuo says.

“Just…Eugene was really worried about meeting you and you guys ended up hitting it off just fine,” Fetch says. “Was that real or…”

“You’re very protective of him aren’t you?” Kuo asks, glancing at her for a brief moment. “No, I’m not faking it. Eugene was no more than a child when he had contact with me. I’d never blame him for what happened. I’m not going to lash out at him in the future either, so you don’t have to worry.”

“Okay…” Fetch bites her lip before continuing. “But yeah, you’re right. I am protective.”

Before Kuo can respond, Fetch’s phone goes off. She pulls it out of her pocket and flips it open, surprised to see Betty’s number.

“Hey Betty,” she says.

“Hi dear,” Betty says. “Delsin just called. It seems they’re sending a military unit out this way.”

“Oh shit.”

“They’re just investigating but I’m going to destroy the phone after we talk,” Betty says with a chuckle. “I see the importance of burner phones now.”

“Jesus Betty,” Fetch says. “Alright Kuo and I will swing by the house and get anything go incriminating out of there. We planned for this.”

“Why do you think I’m so calm?” Betty asks. “Don’t worry. I’ll take my time talking to them.”

“Thanks.” Fetch hangs up before tossing the phone in the air and vaporizing it with a quick blast of neon. “Military is on its way.”

“That was slower than I anticipated for them to catch up with me,” Kuo says.

“Eugene’s got this place on lock, it’s probably just a check for Delsin again but now that we have you, we’re better off grabbing what we need and bailing.”

“They’ll wipe the place for fingerprints,” Kuo says.

"Doesn’t matter,” Fetch says. “All four of us have been wiped from the system thanks to Eugene. We just gotta make sure there’s nothing identifying outside of that.”

They head back to the house as fast as they can and Fetch knows she shouldn’t be surprised at Kuo’s efficiency but she still is. Kuo makes the beds and puts away all the dishes while Fetch loads up her bag with Eugene’s laptop and games. She grabs their toiletries and then takes what little clothes they bother to keep there and dumps them in the yard before vaporizing them to dust and heading back in. The place looks spotless, like no one has lived in it for quite some time. Thanks to Delsin’s cleaning habits, there’s even a good amount of dust on everything.

“You have anything you want to grab?” Fetch asks.

“No. We should go.”

Fetch nods and they head outside. She knows the area well enough by now, it’s just now it’s hard to tell if the military has already started sweeping the surrounding area. Having Kuo helps though. Hiding and skulking around with Eugene was harder, especially since stealth didn’t come all that naturally to him, but Kuo follows her quietly, eyes scanning their surroundings as they go.

"The hard part will be getting across the bridge without anyone noticing us,” Fetch says. “It will probably be pretty locked down, all though I can’t be sure. I wish Delsin had said how many there were.”

“We can worry about it when we get there,” Kuo says. “Given what I’ve seen while catching up on what I’ve missed, it’s highly unlikely they’d shut down the bridge. Not in Seattle anyway. The tension is still too high and the military will want to retain a higher moral ground than the DUP for now.”

“God damn we’re lucky to have you. You’re damn smart,” Fetch says.

“I was in the NSA for six years,” Kuo says. “You freed Seattle, but you’re going to have to do a lot more before you understand the world I do, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. Obviously, you’ve been through a lot but you don’t have the technical skills I have.”

“Looks like we can learn from each other,” Fetch says.

“Oh?”

“I teach you how to make facial expressions, you teach me how to be a secret agent,” Fetch says with a grin.

Kuo shrugs. “Deal.”

When they reach the outskirts of the woods near the bridge, some of the anxiety building in Fetch’s chest drains away. There’s no military convoy or check point waiting for them.

“Told you,” Kuo says.

“Okay so how do we cross without drawing attention to your arms?” Fetch asks.

“Can I borrow your jacket?” Kuo asks.

"Yeah I think I got one of D’s beanies in here and my hair is the most noticeable part about me anyways,” Fetch says, shrugging off the backpack and then her coat.

She realizes when Kuo goes to take it and her fingers don’t uncurl that this is the first time she’s let anyone take Brent’s coat since she got out of Curdun Cay. There’s a cautious look in Kuo’s eyes. She doesn’t tug at it, just holds it and waits for Fetch to let go. Clenching her jaw tight, Fetch lets go and tries not to panic as she watches Kuo pull it on. She turns her attention to her bag and roots around in it for Delsin’s beanie. It’s a plain black one and it’s easy to tuck all her hair underneath it. When she looks up, the unnatural color of Kuo’s arms is hidden but there’s still a noticeably icy vapor radiating off of her that even with the overcast skies is going to draw attention.

“I can hold it in,” Kuo says when she realizes Fetch is looking. “It’s just extremely uncomfortable.”

“Alright then I’ll let you lead the way whenever you’re ready.”

Kuo tugs the hood of the jacket up and heads out of the woods and onto the sidewalk. Fetch shoves her own hands in her pockets and tries to ignore the cold of the raindrops on her bare skin and the way glimpses of blue wisps of hair from underneath the hood make images of Brent flicker at the edges of her mind. She wishes they could just run top speed into Seattle and get it over with. They’re halfway across the bridge when she stops, fingers curling into fists in her jean pockets.

Kuo stops and looks back at her before taking a few steps closer. “Whatever your deal is, it doesn’t matter. If you stand here and freak out, you’re going to draw attention to us.”

“Fuck off,” Fetch gasps out as her breath starts to come faster.

"Alright. Come here.”

Kuo tugs Fetch over to her, wrapping her arms loosely around her shoulders. Fetch isn’t a short person, but Kuo is still tall enough that she can barely hook her chin over Kuo’s shoulder. She’s colder like this, but it helps to feel Kuo’s heartbeat against hers and she doesn’t even have to think about matching her breathing with Kuo’s when they’re this close. Her shaky breaths even out, the panic receding as she does so.

"People hugging draws much less attention than a panic attack,” Kuo says. “Better?”

“I think so. Sorry.”

Kuo lets go and turns away. “You can’t help it. And neither can I.”

Fetch follows after her and avoids looking too closely at the jacket.

 

-.-

 

By the time they get into Seattle, Fetch feels like a drowned rat. She takes the lead and can’t help but take a brisk walk as they make their way to Eugene’s through the back alleys. They slip in the back door of the abandoned electronic shop above Eugene’s place and into the main living space, which is as dimly lit as ever. Eugene’s at his computer, far from surprising, but Delsin’s nowhere to be seen.

Kuo strips the jacket off and hands it to Fetch as she starts talking to Eugene. Fetch doesn’t stay to listen, instead darting into the bathroom and locking the door behind her before stripping out of her clothes and turning the shower on. The warm water helps a little but she can’t stop shaking. She knows the feeling, is familiar with it in an intimate level, but that doesn’t make her feel any better. She should’ve brought an extra jacket for Kuo, should’ve thought far enough ahead to avoid having to do something that she knew would set her off.

She’s just been thinking too quickly and not deeply.

A knock at the door startles her enough that she almost slips. “Yeah?”

“It’s Delsin. I’ve got clothes for you to change into.” It’s all the warning he gives before stepping into the bathroom, not that Fetch minds. “You okay?”

Fetch sucks in a rough breath. “Wanna fuck?”

“Huh?”

“Kinda not in the mood for a pep talk so if you wanna help me not think get in. If not…”

Delsin takes her offer. Kuo and Eugene are outside so they’re both quiet, Fetch pressed up against the shower wall, face against the smooth tile as Delsin fucks into her in short movements. She bites at her lip to keep her moans in but she can’t help but gasp when Delsin gets his fingers on her clit.

“You might not want to think but the least I can do is make it pleasurable,” he says. “C’mon loosen up a little.”

She resists the urge to fight back and instead lets herself relax back into him a bit. He hums quietly against her ear. Then he ducks his head to suck a slow mark into the space where her shoulder meets her neck, pleasurable at first but then it begins to sting and ache. She sighs and slumps back against him, letting him hold her up with a right arm around her waist. She comes like that, gasping as it washes over her.

Delsin slides out of her and she can hear the slick sound of him jacking off. He comes on her back but it’s washed quickly away by the shower spray so she doesn’t gripe at him, instead turning around and pulling him down for a kiss. He looks concerned when she pulls away, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he grabs the soap and starts at her shoulders and works his way down.

It’s nice, being taken care of. The shaking stopped when he’d been fucking her, but post-orgasm she can feel herself sinking into something close to contentment. When he’s done, she steals the soap from him and returns the favor. He moves easily as she lifts an arm, turns him around, urges a foot up, letting her control every motion. His compliance steadies her. When she soaps up his back, she pauses over the tattoo he got months ago. The pink Seattle skyline makes her stomach tighten with want again, but she forces it down because fucking once in the shower was already a bad idea.

“Kuo had to wear Brent’s jacket to hide her arms,” Fetch says quietly. “I guess it sort of…triggered me or something. I had a nightmare about killing him last night and so he was on my mind.”

“Jeeze. That’s a lot to handle,” Delsin says.

"Yeah. So. That’s what’s wrong,” she says. She sets the soap back in its holder. “All done.”

Delsin shuts the water off and holds the curtain back for her to step out first. They dry each other off and get dressed. Fetch doesn’t fail to notice that Delsin had brought her one of Eugene’s hoodies and it’s the first thing she tugs on.

“Thanks for telling me by the way,” Delsin says.     

“I’m trying to be better,” she says without looking at him. “So thanks for letting me talk.”

He ruffles her hair and she swats at him, laughing. It feels nice to have it out in the open without it making things weird between them, without him looking at her with pity or something. She doesn’t want to talk about it and be comforted. She wants to talk about it and not be judged, to have her words to be accepted. To be validated. To know it’s not all up in her head and that she’s not going crazy.

“Come on. It’s time to strategize,” he says.

When they get back to the main computer area, Kuo is sitting on the desk to Eugene’s right, legs folded beneath her. Eugene turns in his chair and smiles when he sees she’s wearing his hoodie. It’s easy to make Eugene smile sometimes.

“So what’s our current situation?” Delsin asks.

“Betty called on the back up burner phones,” Eugene says. “Military’s searching the property. She said she overhead some of them talking about sending a covert team into Seattle and Augustine’s name.”

"She must’ve figured we’d never leave the area,” Fetch says. “Selling us out to save herself or something.”

“No that can’t be it,” Delsin says. “It’s not how she works. My guess is with Kuo missing they got sick of waiting to catch us when someone slips up. What’s our best option now?”

“Leave town,” Kuo says. “It’s better to be moving anyways when we start releasing information, and if they start going under cover here in Seattle, it’s just a matter of time before they find one of us.”

“How are you guys coming on your Sasha and Moya theory?” Fetch asks.

“Well I’ve definitely confirmed they’re both alive. Took some digging and hacking but they’ve definitely been experimenting on Sasha ever since Moya dragged her out of Empire City,” Eugene says. “It’s a top level conspiracy and by that I mean no one has clearance to any of the correspondence beyond the involved parties, some generals and a few politicians.”

“So we’re looking at a small group of pofficials attempting to scare the people into willingly giving into a military coup,” Kuo says.

"Do we have a location on Sasha?” Delsin asks.

“I’ve narrowed it down to somewhere in the west? New Mexico or something,” Eugene says. “I don’t have time to keep digging though, not if we plan on getting out of Seattle.”

"Alright…” Delsin leans against the desk. “Eugene, do you have everything backed up somewhere?”

"Duh,” Eugene says. “We can destroy all of this and I have everything I need on a few physical hard drives to take with us.”

"Then we’re easily mobile. You guys should all head for New Mexico and on the way Eugene can pinpoint exactly where you should be headed,” Delsin says, gesturing at Fetch and Kuo. “Eugene and I will head east and start releasing information. Plus, Augustine was right about something with me.”

“And that is?” Kuo asks.

“People like me. They like what I did in Seattle, they like what I did for Conduits, and there’s people all over the Internet wondering where I’ve gone because they want to keep the momentum going,” Delsin says. “I can convince people to stay on our side, no matter what dumb shit the military tries to pull.”

“That…isn’t a bad idea actually,” Kuo says, hopping off the table and starting to pace. “Cole never cared much about what people thought of him but you did. You made people like you and there are images and videos all over of your ‘heroics’. You could potentially cause a grassroots movement that can pressure the government into prosecuting these military officials.” She stops and looks back at them. “It’s a long shot. But it’s doable.”

“My whole life has been doing long shots…” Delsin frowns. “That made more sense in my head.”

“I got what you meant,” Kuo says, sounding more amused than anything. “So the goal is to get out of the city by tonight I’m assuming?”

"Yeah,” Delsin says. “This place is going to be the most work to lock down, so how about you and Eugene work on this and Fetch and I will hit up her place. Let’s meet by Augustine’s old tower in an hour.”

Fetch doesn’t mention that she doesn’t really have anything to clear out. She could use a break.

 

-.-

 

“You know I’m actually gonna miss this place,” Fetch says as she digs through her things for anything worth saving. There’s nothing terribly identifying, and there’s a cute girl that works at the diner she visits sometimes that could use the place so she’ll probably drop the keys off on her way out of town. “It was mine.”

“Well if all goes well, we might actually be able to settle down for real sometime,” Delsin says. “Have an actual home.”

Fetch snorts. “What, the happy commune for renegade, law-breaking Conduits?”

“Exactly!” Delsin says.           

“What about Betty?”

“Betty…look. I never even wanted the Akomish involved in the first place, but given the circumstances there was nowhere else to go. But if we stay? It’ll only mean more trouble for them in the future. Today’s a microcosm in comparison to what could’ve happened and Betty knows that as well as I do,” Delsin says. “Honestly, I always knew I’d end up living far away from them all.”

“I kind of wish we could stay,” Fetch says. She grabs her copy of Jane Eyre off the desk and shoves it into her bag. “She…was helpful.””

“Hey, even if this all goes to shit and we end up back in hiding, Betty is always gonna be there,” Delsin says, grabbing Fetch’s shoulder and turning her to look at him. “She’s always been that kind of person. You’re not losing her and neither am I.”

Fetch wants to believe that. But she’s seen what the DUP could really do and she knows the military would be even worse than that. It’s hard to be hopeful when the world is damned determined to crash down around her ears.

 

-.-

 

They meet up in the back alley behind the news building. Eugene’s backpack looks stuffed full but he doesn’t seem all that upset about leaving his newfound home behind. Fetch supposes that for people like them, they’ve learned not to think anything is permanent. It’s kind of sad but…it makes it easier to endure things she supposes.

“Picked up burner phones for everyone,” Eugene says, reaching into his pocket and pulling out three flip phones to pass out. “I’ve put as much security as I could on them but use them sparingly. I’ve also got us fake IDs and credit cards.”

“Did you do all this in an hour?” Fetch asks, taking the card and ID passed over to her.

“Of course not. I’ve been preparing for this shit for months,” Eugene says. “Though, Kuo, I got you a credit card but no ID. I figure your face is plastered everywhere as Americas most wanted so if someone does recognize you, you’ll be screwed anyways.”

“Fair enough,” Kuo says.

“As for the rest of us, the credit cards are tied to some rich fucker in Saudi Arabia. He won’t notice the extra expenses because what we’ll need to spend is like a restaurant meal to him,” Eugene says. “And Fetch, I modified your picture so you have a buzz cut. Kuo, you’ll want to dye your hair just to help a little with anyone recognizing you.”

“We could’ve used you in the NSA,” Kuo says.

Eugene grins. “I could topple governments on my own if I wanted to. It’d just be a lot messier and not nearly as helpful.”

“Well, I look forward to helping you topple the military instead,” Kuo says.

“Alright,” Delsin says. “Enough chitchat. Time for goodbyes.”

“They’re not goodbyes,” Fetch says. “I fully intend on seeing you assholes later.”

She grabs Delsin by the front of his vest and pulls him in for a deep kiss before he can say something too serious that makes her chest tight. Delsin cups the back of her head and slides his tongue into her mouth, flicking it at her lips before pulling away. She punches his chest and then turns to Eugene.

“You too,” she says.

Eugene flushes before reaching up to cradle her face and give her a chaste kiss. She sighs and wraps her arms around his shoulders. Then she buries her face in his neck and hugs him tighter, the emotions she’d ignored with Delsin well up all at once in her chest. She wants to say fuck it and just runaway with them, save her first and last chance at happiness before it can slip through her fingers again. But it’d never work. Delsin cares too much, and Eugene…he’s got sharper edges than Delsin but he cares too.

Fetch cares about the rest of the world but she’s always been more selfish. She’s starting to understand where Delsin was coming from at the start of all this. But if she’s learned anything it’s that running will only get her so far. And sometimes, running just leads to more death than if she’d just stood her ground.

“I love you,” Eugene says. “You say the word and I’ll be there.”

“Love you too,” she says, forcing herself to let go. “See you soon.”

Eugene smiles.

 

-.-

 

Fetch actually legally buys a car for once – a shitty one from a car dealer that doesn’t mind taking cash and doesn’t ask a lot of questions. She runs a quick quote through some online insurance company and prints off the paperwork to shove in the glovebox at the library she left Kuo in. It feels kind of weird doing things the semi-legal way, but the stakes are higher this time around. They stop at a beauty supply place on the way out of town and buy hair dye and cheap clippers before hitting the road on their way to New Mexico.

Kuo stays silent through almost all of it and it isn’t until they’ve been driving for an hour on the highway that she seems to find her voice.

"You’re pretty good at this too,” she says.

“Not as good as Eugene but my training was less about all the background stuff and more about mayhem,” Fetch says.

“Eugene…what all was he taught by Augustine?” Kuo asks.

“Not sure,” she says. “He doesn’t talk about it a lot and it’s not like he learned those skills in a pleasant way you know?”

“Still…I’m glad he’s on our side. There’s a technical skill there that we lacked in New Marais,” Kuo says. “Perhaps we could’ve been more successful with Eugene at our side.”

“I think Augustine thought that even if we got out, we’d never use the skills she taught us against her,” Fetch says. “She had this sort of…Conduit purity thing going on. I guess she thought we all felt the same.”

“So she was like Bertrand,” Kuo says with a bitter sounding laugh. “I talked about him a bit in my dead drops, but really there’s a lot you could unpack in Bertrand’s behavior that describes why it was so easy to continue to give into fear even after the threat of Cole was removed. I should write a book.”

“Maybe one day they’ll pardon all of us and you can,” Fetch says.

“Uh huh,” Kuo says with a roll of her eyes.

It looks kind of odd on her stone-walled face but Fetch will take it. They drive another three hours before pulling over and stopping at the first gas station with an ATM.

"You’re not gonna bust my budget wanting a fancy hotel are you?” Fetch asks as she withdraws $150.00.

“I’ve never been one to care as long as there aren’t bed bugs and even then sometimes I’ve had to deal,” Kuo says.

“You’re saying being a secret agent isn’t as fun as the movies told me?” Fetch says with mock horror.

Kuo doesn’t even dignify her sarcasm with a response. They stop at the first motel that doesn’t ask for an ID they find and pay cash. The room isn’t that bad and the bathroom is decent but not so nice that Fetch feels bad about potentially staining it with hair dye.

“You any good with clippers?” Fetch asks.

“Passable,” Kuo says, following her to the bathroom. “You just want to buzz it?”

“Yeah my roots are dark brown so that should be fine. I’ll dye yours black and then cut it,” Fetch says.

Kuo plugs the clippers in and Fetch watches in the mirror as Kuo starts to shave her pink locks. They fall on the counter, the sink, the floor. She watches them spin away, and again feels the emotions she wants so badly to ignore well up within her with no warning. Kuo pauses but then seems to see something in Fetch’s eyes and keeps going until Fetch doesn’t even recognize herself in the mirror, at least not her face or her eyes. Her eyes look just as bright as they always do, but there’s nothing to see in them. They’re blank.

Silence fills the room when Kuo shuts off the clippers. Fetch straightens and stares at the stranger in the mirror.

“You alright?” Kuo asks.

"Yeah…it’s just…”

“Shedding yourself a bit,” Kuo says. “Becoming someone new is always unsettling, even if it’s just temporary.”

"Except I have no idea who I am under all of this,” Fetch says.

“We rarely do,” Kuo says. “My turn?”

Fetch takes a deep breath to steady herself. “Yeah.” She steps back and trades places with Kuo, grabbing the clippers. “I’ll give you some bangs to cover your face better. You’ll look like an emo kid who never grew out of their scene phase.”

“Fantastic,” Kuo says, voice deadpan.

Kuo is quiet while she works – which isn’t surprising. What is surprising is the way her shoulders stiffen as Fetch runs the razor up in steady rhythm along the back of her head. It takes her a moment but then she remembers. In Curdun Cay, they couldn’t do anything on their own – shower, go to the bathroom, let alone cut their hair. Fetch stops the clippers.

“Do you want to do it?” she asks.

 The counter creaks under Kuo’s tightening grip. “No. I can do this. Keep going.”

 “Sometimes pushing through it makes it worse,” Fetch says.

 “How about you trust me to know myself better than you do?” Kuo says through gritted teeth.

Fetch doesn’t say anything in response and instead resumes what she was doing, working her way around the sides of Kuo’s hair. The deep blue locks mingle with the pink ones on the ground. They look pretty together and all at once Fetch wants to rewind time five minutes and really look at both of them side by side in the mirror. By the time she’s done, ice has formed up around Kuo’s hands on the counter. Fetch keeps going though, grabbing scissors and sitting up on the counter to shape the remainder of her hair down in a swoop to cover one of her eyes.

When she’s done, she brushes what hair she can off her lap before hopping off the counter. Kuo lets go and the ice breaks and falls to the ground.

“You should rinse your hair out,” Fetch says. “I’ll go see if I can get a vacuum somewhere.”

Kuo just nods so Fetch hurries out. There’s a housekeeping cart two hallways away that has a vacuum attached to it so she grabs that and heads back to their room. Kuo’s in the shower but she’s left the door open so Fetch goes to work cleaning up all their hair. By the time she gets back from returning the vacuum, Kuo is dressed and toweling dry her hair, looking infinitely more relaxed but still…off.

"My turn,” Fetch says. “My neck is itching like crazy. You know how to bleach your hair?”

Kuo nods again and Fetch realizes all at once that she seems to have lost her ability to talk. She’s seen it happen with Eugene before. He’d go nonverbal for hours and she’d stretched out next to him, painting designs just above his skin with neon until he felt like coming back to her. She steps into the shower and quickly rinses off the tiny hairs that have collected all over her body. When she gets out, Kuo is wrapping the last bie of aluminum around her bleach covered hair and as Fetch dries off and changes, Kuo cleans down the counter.

“Hey Kuo?” Fetch asks, tugging at Kuo’s arm and making her turn to look at her. “I’m going to try and help you out okay? You’ve gone really far away.”

Kuo shrugs, whether from indifference about Fetch’s offer or the observation that she was dissociating. Fetch guides her back to the main room and urges her to sit down on the edge of the bed. Fetch climbs up behind her and then puts a hand to hover over each of biceps, waiting and giving Kuo ample time to process where her hands are. Then, she lets a little bit of her power stream free, just enough to coat her hands. She starts with just each index finger, tracing a slow and squiggly line down each arm.

Kuo doesn’t start or look worse off by the sensation so Fetch continues. She loses track of time as she works, never letting any image stay like she would with Eugene. She doesn’t want to make Kuo feel too much too soon. Sometime after she’d doodled the design on the back of Delsin’s jacket, Kuo shifts. She doesn’t speak though so Fetch keeps going. The next time Kuo moves, it’s to lean back against Fetch, her body stiff even as Fetch supports her.

“Hey,” Fetch says. “You back with me?”

“Yes,” Kuo says, voice tired. “I should probably rinse my hair.”

“Yeah.” Fetch squeezes her shoulders. “I’ll let you do it.”

Kuo pulls herself up and heads for the bathroom and once Fetch hears the bath start running with water, she follows. The water is a deep black as Kuo shoves her head under the spray. The dye doesn’t stick to her iced over arms, sliding off like they’re waterproof or something.

“So,” Fetch says. “What was it? The taking care of you or something else?”

“I haven’t had bodily autonomy for seven years,” Kuo says over the noise of the water. “You meant nothing wrong by it but…perhaps from here on I should remain in charge of my body entirely.”

“That makes sense.”

Kuo shuts off the water and Fetch scrambles to grab her the towel to wrap her hair up in. She squeezes her hair a few times before standing.

“What was it that you were doing to me? It felt nice,” Kuo says.

“Sometimes Eugene dissociates,” Fetch says. “Doing that would help bring him back and sometimes I’d just draw on him for fun with my powers.”

Kuo looks uncomfortable for a moment, her lips twitching like she’s trying to frown before she turns away to hang up the now stained towel. “It was soothing. Maybe after nightmares.”

“Sure,” Fetch says. “Wake me up whenever.”

Kuo nods.

 

-.-

 

The next morning they wake up to a panicked news cycle after receiving a text from Eugene to check the local channel. Every channel they find is playing the same clip – a grainy video of Delsin promising to release more information in his next video, but for now, enjoy the dead drops of Lucy Kuo. The commentary of the pundits is staunchly antagonistic which isn’t surprising. There’s doubt though too though, about whether or not the information received after New Marais had been accurate or if the government had been transparent enough.

“The seeds of doubt are important,” Kuo says in between bites of her bagel once they’re on the road again. “Especially on national television.”

“They’re usually just mouthpieces for the government,” Fetch says. “They haven’t said one damn truthful thing about me since…ever.”

"Maybe we can actually do this then,” Kuo says. “Delsin has more credibility than you or Cole ever did.”

“What do you think of him anyways?” Fetch asks. She swipes a hand over her buzzed hair, still not used to the feeling.

“Delsin is…interesting. If you’d ask me seven years ago I would’ve said he was childish and naïve but it turns out, that was me,” Kuo says. “Sometimes working within the system doesn’t help, it just makes things worse.”

"Sometimes you work too far outside it though,” Fetch says.

For a moment, Kuo doesn’t say anything. Fetch taps her free foot to the rhythm of the music on the radio and lets herself relax into it. When Kuo finally speaks again, it jerks her right out of her relaxed state.

“With your brother…was that too far outside the system?” Kuo asks.

Fetch’s grip on the steering wheel tightens. “Yeah. But it’s different too. After I got to Seattle, I was trying to fix the world by killing every drug dealer I could get my hands on, but that wasn’t helping anyone you know? Drug dealers are like cockroaches. Doesn’t matter how many you kill, they still show up and they’re still covered in disease.”

“That’s a bit extreme,” Kuo says.

“Yeah, Smokes thought so too,” Fetch says. “So now I just catch them and help leave clues for the police to bust their shipments.”

“Why though?” Kuo asks. “Does it fix anything?”

Fetch shakes her head. “Not really. Just lets me run for a while but Betty and I were talking and I…gotta stop running sometime. There’s something I gotta face.”

“And I’m assuming you aren’t going to tell me what that is?” Kuo asks. She doesn’t sound like she’s judging, not that Fetch would expect her to.

“I can’t even admit it in my head yet,” Fetch says.

“I’m the last person to think you’re a bad person for whatever it is you need to admit though,” Kuo says. “I’m not Delsin or Eugene. You don’t have to worry about me hating you for some sort of behavior or act you committed.”

“Not yet. Maybe when I admit it to myself,” Fetch says.

“I’ll be here.”

 

-.-

 

Eugene sends Fetch coordinates around noon that day that will take them to the middle of a desert near the border of Mexico and New Mexico. An hour later, he sends an update that the military has left Seattle. It makes Fetch breathe a little easier knowing Betty and the rest of the Akomish are safe instead of suffering more consequences from their actions. It’s the last thing they deserve after their hospitality.

When they stop for the night, Kuo hops on one of the laptops Eugene gave her and plugs in her personal Wi-Fi hotspot. Fetch stretches out on the bed next to her and watches as she logs into the military database and starts to click through files like she knows exactly what she’s looking for. Fetch mentions it to her and Kuo shrugs.

“Eugene gave me directions in a text,” Kuo says. “Coded of course, in case the messages are intercepted. We came up with a code before we left.”

“So what are we looking for?”

“He sent you coordinates. Hopefully this will be the building specs so we can have a plan when we get there,” Kuo says.

"The satellite images didn’t show a building though,” Fetch says.

“Underground facility,” Kuo says as she opens a file. “And a pretty heavy duty one from the looks of it.”

The compound is four stories with three separate entrances hidden under brush and the gentle desert hill sides. It’s almost entirely empty though, if the staff list is anything to go by. There’s five people total, two scientists, Dr. Frazier and Dr. Edwards, and two guards contracted from a mercenary group whose name at first doesn’t register and then it clicks.

“Vermaak 88,” Kuo says. “But how? They were all turned into false Conduits and their forms were too unstable for them to have survived this long. They’d be Ice Titans by now.”

“Ice Titans?” Fetch asks.

“Monsters made out of ice, around sixteen feet tall or so,” Kuo says, her lips almost turning down at the edges. “They were uncontrollable at that point, their minds deteriorating too fast to do much more than cause indiscriminate damage.”

“Well they got a chip in your head,” Fetch says. “Why not theirs?”

“That’s…terrifying to think about,” Kuo says.

Fetch hits the down arrow to reveal the last name. “Moya Jones. But then where’s Sasha?”

“Hold on, there’s more to look through,” Kuo says.

She doesn’t find Sasha’s name, but they do find her pictures. The images make Fetch’s stomach roll. She knows not every mutation is pretty – she’d seen almost all of them in Curdun Cay – but Sasha’s unnaturally pale flesh blending with tar and forming claws and tentacles, and the images of her screaming as she fought with her inhuman tongue writhing forth made her shudder.

"Did she always look like that?” Fetch asks.

"After the blast, yes. She was normal enough before, if a little unhinged when it came to her obsessiveness with Kessler,” Kuo says. “We’ll have to be careful fighting her.”

“She’s not a rescue mission like you then?” Fetch asks, half-joking.

“I hope if I had been in the state Sasha is in when you found me, you would have put me down for the sake of the world as well as myself,” Kuo says.

“There’s no chance to save her?” Fetch asks, sitting up as her hands curl into fists. “She’s a Conduit, not a dog.”

“Sasha nearly poisoned and massacred an entire district of Empire City,” Kuo says. “Not because she was trying to save herself or fight against the government, but because she could. She took over gangs and controlled them to terrorize civilians. She’s a threat to society.”

“But how do you know-“

Kuo slammed the laptop shut. “Because Cole sometimes had nightmares about she did to his head and when I was in Empire City, we had to be careful about where we got our water and civilians all around us were dying from dehydration and because not once did Sasha ever try to help civilians. She only ever harmed them or enslaved them. She’s not us. She’s not _me._ ”

Fetch bites her lip. “Sorry. I just didn’t…the media lied about you and me and I just didn’t know that what they said about her was real too.”

"Look…” Kuo stops and looks up at the ceiling and all at once Fetch realizes she’s on the verge of tears. “I regret every day the choice I made with Cole. But I didn’t make the choice because I enjoyed killing people and bringing their nightmares to life the way she did.”

Fetch reaches out to take Kuo’s hand in her own. She’s surprised that it isn’t cold to the touch, but shoves the thought about why Kuo was bothering to keep her skin warm aside. “I didn’t mean to compare you to each other. I just didn’t realize the difference between you because you’re right, it’s not like you were doing it out of malicious intent. It’s different.”

“Is it though?” Kuo stares down at their grasped hands and a moment later, a cold tear hits the back of Fetch’s hand. “At the end of the day, innocent people are still dead.”

“I…” Fetch doesn’t know, because Kuo is right. No matter the reasoning, no matter the lack of information and the situation, people were dead because of Kuo had done. “It’s different. It is. Because you understand, you _feel_ guilty. You want to make up for it. That’s what matters.”

Kuo sucks in a deep breath and shakes her head. “God, I don’t know what came over me. Talk about an overreaction.”

“It’s not like that,” Fetch says. “You’ve probably been thinking about it awhile and I just brought it all up to the surface by being a dick.”

“Maybe…”

Fetch grabs Kuo’s other hand, rubbing her thumbs over the ice-smooth backs of her hands. “We’ll plan our strategy tomorrow, okay? Better to rest for now.”

Kuo sets the laptop on the hotel floor and then stretches out on the bed with a sigh. Her arms cross over her eyes. Fetch stretches out next to her, then thinks better of it and sits facing her by Kuo’s hip instead.

“Want me to do the one thing?” she asks.

"I’m upset, not dissociating,” Kuo says.        

“Still,” Fetch says. “It might help.”

“Sure why the hell not?”

Fetch lets her hands hover over Kuo’s stomach and then let’s her neon power flow out, a little stronger than last time so she can feel it through the thick black jacket she wears. She’s not quite sure what Kuo feels, or what Eugene did when she did it for him. Either she’s immune to feeling her own power, or she’s so used to using it she doesn’t notice a difference. Kuo sighs and lets her arms fall, giving Fetch some bare skin to work with too.

“Weird question,” Fetch says.

Kuo makes a noncommittal noise in response.

“Your hands weren’t cold when I touched them, even with all the icy stuff coming off them,” Fetch says. “Why not?”

“Sometimes the temperature follows my moods, but unless I concentrate they always radiate ice and my tears and mouth always feel cold,” Kuo says. “It doesn’t make any sense and I gave up trying to understand why my powers manifest the way they do a long time ago.”

"Augustine’s experiments weren’t very helpful in helping us understand ourselves,” Fetch says, bitter amusement clouding her voice.

“Scientists in my experience are more curious about finding answers for themselves than they are for some higher, moral purpose,” Kuo says. “Dr. Wolfe was a good man, but his thirst for understanding is partially why we ended up in this mess in the first place.”

Fetch stops, letting her power waft away. “I hope all of this works. I hope killing Sasha and exposing Moya and the military is actually worth it.”

Kuo stretches her arms up above her head before opening her eyes. “If I’ve learned anything from the past, it’s that we never know what our actions are going to trigger down the line.”

“Comforting,” Fetch says.     

“If you wanted comforting, you picked the wrong person to rescue,” Kuo says.

Fetch climbs off the bed and flops down on her own. “Maybe. But maybe not.”

 

-.-

           

“Brent! No! I didn’t mean, I thought, I didn’t-“

“Fetch!”

Fetch flails out, her hand caught right away by Kuo’s and then shoved down on the bed. Being pinned just kicks her adrenaline higher and she brings her knee up without thinking and even Kuo’s grunt of pain isn’t enough to shake her out of the images of Brent bleeding out on the concrete and the slick of it on her hands.

“Shit,” Kuo says.        

Her hand clamps down over Fetch’s mouth, covering her scream as ice spreads over her limbs, the shock and pain of the cold overwhelming her nerves and forcing her back into her body all at once. As quickly as it came, the cold is gone. Fetch goes limp on the bed, tears streaming out of her eyes as she tries to catch her breath. Kuo moves her hand and flops down on the bed next to her. Fetch looks down but no part of her is still covered in ice. Kuo must have removed it as soon as she realized Fetch was back in the real world again.

"Sorry,” Fetch says. She presses the heels of her palms to her eyes but it doesn’t stop the tears. “For kicking you.”

"It’s fine,” Kuo says. “You wanna talk about it now?”

Fetch turns on her side, knees curling up to her chest. “I guess…I can’t keep putting it off.”

“Whatever you need to say, I won’t say anything in response,” Kuo says. “I won’t try and tell you you’re wrong or that you’re a good person or whatever it is you’re afraid I’ll say.”

“I killed my brother,” Fetch blurts out. She squeezes her eyes shut tight and forces herself to keep talking before she loses her nerve. “Not my powers, not the drug dealers, none of the shit I blame in my head. It was me. I let myself get to that point and I chase down drug dealers because if I blame them, I don’t have to blame myself.”

Her voice cuts out around a strange noise, a sob she thinks, and she curls tighter around herself, pressing her forehead to her knees until it hurts. The pounding of her heart beating against her ribs is all she can hear. She focuses on that instead of the rage inside her, the rage she wants so badly to focus on herself where it should have been the whole time. The warmth of Kuo’s body at her back takes her by surprise. She loosens up and leans back, just a bit, into it, wanting the touch to chase away her thoughts.

“I’m not good at comfort, but you guys always seemed like the touch-y types,” Kuo says, breath tickling the back of her neck. “So I can…”

"Please.”

Fetch falls back into a fitful sleep with Kuo’s arm wrapped tight around her and the sharp smell of ice in her nose.

 

-.-

           

She wakes up with a dry mouth and sore eyes with her head pillowed on Kuo’s chest. She leaves her eyes closed, soaking in the feeling of being held and the delicate way Kuo’s fingers brush over the short spikes of her buzzed hair. The next thing she becomes aware of is the increasingly loud voices on the TV.

“Leaked or not, this is proof that DARPA was experimenting on human beings, citizens, long before the Empire Event even happened! Even if you’re dense enough to think that what happened to the Conduits in Curdun Cay, you have to admit the trend DARPA was exhibiting before against humans was disturbing.”

"National security must take precedent! That bio-terrorist needs to be brought to justice for what he did in Seattle as well as releasing this information, confidential information in case you have forgotten, that could endanger the American public! Just look at Chicago!”

"Oh, you mean all the people protesting that their government apparently never shook its history of experimenting on citizens?”

“No to mention, if I can cut in boys, that Delsin Rowe has promised to release more information by tomorrow morning. If there’s more damning evidence of what the government has done-“

“I know you’re awake,” Kuo says.

Fetch pushes herself upright, flushing when she meets Kuo’s eyes. “Sorry. It felt nice.”

Kuo’s lips twitch, the right side almost reaching a smile. “It did for me too. I never…physical comfort was never high on my priorities and after Curdun Cay I wasn’t sure I’d…”

It’s almost as vulnerable as she’d been last night, fearing that Fetch thought she was just like Sasha, and she doesn’t know if she’s still willing to talk because of Fetch’s own outburst, but it feels like something has changed. Kuo saw all her raw and dark parts and chose to hold on anyways. And now, Kuo’s giving her something else in return – or at least that’s what it feels like.

“I’m big on cuddling,” Fetch says. “Ask and ye shall receive, so Eugene says.”

Something close to a laugh escapes Kuo and her lips come even closer to a smile which makes Fetch’s heart pound. She’ll think about that later. She moves to the end of the bed, gaze flicking over the TV.

“At least the commentary is a little better,” Fetch says. “Honest even. What did Delsin drop last night?”

“DARPA’s experiments on Alden as well as Bertrand’s experiments,” Kuo says. “Plus Sasha, back when she was first developing her psychic powers. The government funded and participated in the experiments via secret agents they had managed to get into the First Sons, so it looks pretty bad.”

“And the protests?” Fetch asks.

“People want transparency,” Kuo says. “Especially after Seattle and especially when someone the country has come to love is the one breaking down the wall between the government and the people. Delsin’s influence is greater than I think even the government has realized. Of course this all hinges on our newest President. Depending on what she does in response, we could be looking at a really bad situation. It’s the only part I couldn’t account for when Eugene and I were selecting how to release the information.”

“Who is the President anyways? The election happened right after Seattle and we were a bit too drained to be thinking about that shit,” Fetch says. She looks at Kuo over her shoulder. “And honestly, I’ve never had much interest in politicians.”       

“Tamesha Johnson,” Kuo says. “Back before Empire City was put in quarantine, she was on the front lines for a lot of Black Lives Matter protests and did a lot of pro-Conduit work when it came to making sure they were treated humanely afterwards. At least, that’s what she advocated for.”

"Yeah, didn’t do much,” Fetch says. “So what, you’re hoping she’ll respond nicely to all the leaks and then…?”

"Hopefully she’ll support indictment of the military officials planning a coup against her or she’s weaker than I thought,” Kuo says. “And if we’re real lucky, from there she’ll start actually trying to put policies in place that help protect the rest of us from being locked up and tortured again. She’s definitely the type of person who will be responsive to public outcry and protests, given that she was an activist for much of her life.”

“Well let’s assume that plays out just the way we want. What’s our Sasha plan in the mean time?” Fetch asks.

“I figure we can sort that out on the drive down,” Kuo says. “Let Eugene know we’ll be hitting them today. I’m taking a shower.”

 

-.-

 

They get a series of texts from Eugene in response that Kuo spends most of the drive decoding.

“He wants a confession out of Moya, which will be tricky,” Kuo says. “But I can see why Eugene wants one.”

Fetch hits her blinker and merges to the left lane to move faster along the highway. “Why is it tricky?”

“Moya Jones was one of the top agents in DARPA,” Kuo says. “Which is why a lot of the intelligence community had a hard time believing she’d actually died in the events after the Beast destroyed most of Empire City. She’s trained to keep a cool head under torture and threat of death and she’s gotten out of situations no one expected her to. She didn’t come this far by being loose with her tongue or easy to fight, especially if she’s been going along with a coup for this many years.”

“Do you think there’s a chance that maybe she does still work for the government and that she’s going to stop it?” Fetch asks.

"That’s pretty doubtful. I think if it was up to Moya, she’d have dropped nuclear bombs on Empire City and been done with the whole Conduit mess,” Kuo says. “With the DUP not killing off the Conduits, I imagine she thinks the government has gone too soft.”

"You seem to know a lot about her. Why didn’t you say so earlier?” Fetch asks.

“Moya and I had a mission together when I first joined the NSA. That was enough to work out what kind of person she was,” Kuo says. “We’ll worry about that later. In the mean time, we’ll need to pick up some Go Pros.”

“Oh god, I’m going to have to wear one of those ugly harnesses, aren’t it?”

“If it’s any consolation, both of us will be,” Kuo says. “We’ll want as much footage as possible of the lab and their experiment as we can get. As for the Ice Titans, you’ll take those on. My ice won’t hurt them unless I get the face plates off which is…challenging. It’d be a waste of time for me to try and fight them.”

“This keeps getting better,” Fetch says.

“I’ll go for Moya and the scientists,” Kuo says. “I can at least freeze them in place until we get rid of Sasha. The scientists might be willing to talk even if Moya isn’t.”

"Are you strong enough to go up against Sasha on your own?” Fetch asks.

Kuo shakes her head. “Not even a little bit, which is why I’ll need you to finish off those Ice Titans and get to me on the last floor where they’re keeping her as quick as you can.”

“Not gonna lie,” Fetch says. “This plan sucks.”

“If it helps, the fate of the country and all Conduits depends on you,” Kuo says with a deadpan tone.

Fetch spares her a quick glare. It doesn’t last though, because Kuo almost has a full smile on her face. She hopes they survive long enough that she can see it for real.

They review the floor plans until they’ve both memorized them while sitting at a biker diner on the outskirts of the town nearest the desert lab. Their Go Pros sit in the car, as well as a few other odds and ends Kuo picked up for dealing with the security system manually if she wasn’t able to override what she needed through the programming.

“Why not just blast the whole security system and destroy it?” Fetch asks after shoveling a handful of fries in her mouth.

“Because we need the building not to blow up underneath us. With Sasha being…well, Sasha, it looks like they utilized a security option that blows the place up if Moya triggers it to,” Kuo says. “It’ll be tricky to override it so I’ll have to make that my first priority after I get Moya and the scientists held down.”

“Why not the very first priority?” Fetch asks.

“Having confessions is important. We need confessions if this is going to work properly,” Kuo says. “And we can’t do that if they’re dead or if they escape. I don’t think it will be that hard. I’m familiar with these sorts of systems and if I’m lucky, I’ll be able to just lock the scientists in somehow without actually hunting them down first.”

“Okay, this isn’t even fair anymore,” Fetch says. “I thought my training was good, but you’ve thought of literally everything.”

“Augustine was a soldier,” Kuo says. “Different skill sets.”

Fetch wonders, not for the first time, how dangerous Kuo could be if she really wanted to be. That thought alone just proves Kuo isn’t the monster she fears she is, but Fetch doesn’t think this is the best time to mention it. Any distractions and they’d find themselves dead and buried twenty feet under.

 

-.-

 

Fetch shoves her fingers between the straps of the camera harness and her t-shirt as they approach the hillside covered in brush that hides the entrance closest to the security hub.

“It’s like a too tight bra but worse,” she grumbles.

Kuo snorts something that’s close to a laugh. “You’ll live. I’ll blast the door. You should conserve your strength.”

“I’m so hoping there’s some neon in there,” Fetch says.

The building plans didn’t detail what exactly the lights were made of and while she’d soaked up neon from every sign on their way out of town, the Ice Titans made her nervous to go up against when she had a finite amount of energy.

Kuo holds her hands out, ice shooting from her fingers and slamming into the steel door. The steels groans and caves inward but doesn’t give. Kuo stops a second later and then steps closer before sweeping her hands out, shards of ice cracking their way up out of the ground until they reach the door, drilling into it and punching a wide hole through it. Her hand clenches into a fist and she yanks her arms towards her, the spike curling up and then yanking the door clear off its hinges.

Fetch doesn’t hesitate, racing forward in a blur of neon and grabbing Kuo as she dashes through the doorway. They land in front of the door to the main security room. Kuo blasts the door handle open before Fetch even sets her down and they tumble into the room just to come face to face with a gun pointing at both of them.

“You work fast, but I’ve already set this place to blow,” the woman holding the weapons says. “And my guards are almost here.” She’s severe in appearance, dark skin with her hair tucked neatly beneath her military cap.

“Yeah, we’ll talk later,” Kuo says.

She moves before Moya can shoot, encasing her bottom half in ice while Fetch goes for her hands, knocking the guns away and then binding her hands in neon cuffs. Kuo jogs past her to the computer the wall of CCTV monitors.

“Scientists are heading along the main third floor hallway,” Kuo says. “I can lock them down between some of the security shields. You go after the Ice Titans.”

“Which floor?” Fetch asks.

“First. They’ll reach us in about a minute. Get them to the storage bay so I have time to do this,” Kuo says.

“On it.”

Fetch skids to a halt just outside the doorway. The hallway is twenty feet tall, and the Ice Titan lumbering towards her from the other end nearly fills the whole thing. She can’t see the one behind it. Her heart rate kicks up a notch and she shakes her hands.

“C’mon. Just like Seattle.”

She races forward, a streak of neon, using the momentum to launch herself through the air and latch onto one of the giant ice arms. It’s cold and slippery which…she should’ve expected that. It gets the beast’s attention though and it whirls around, knocking into its ally as she dashes behind them both. She throws a small ball of neon, catching the other in the back of head to keep its attention.

Her adrenaline screams at her to just run as they start for her again, surprisingly fast as their long legs carry them down the hall. She dares not run out of sight though, knowing she has to keep them focused on her or risk Kuo being caught unawares without time to shut down the security. She skids around the corner and into the storage bay, heading straight across it to get some distance and survey her surroundings.

The Ice Titans make a strange, gasping roar and a second later, a cold beam hits her in the back, sending her flying into the wall. She runs along the side of it and lands behind some steel crates, sucking in a harsh breath to try and think passed the pain. She doesn’t get long. A moment later, giant balls of ice slam into the wall behind her and start to fall. Fetch dashes to the side and then up the wall to land on a walkway that goes across the ceiling.

The Ice Titan who had thrown the balls of ice is directly below her. Clinging to the railing of the walkway, she leans over and fires a beam of neon into the jagged ice shards that make up its head. From this angle, she can see the line of the face plates. Before she can aim and fire again, a beam of ice hits her arm. She curses and stumbles back, burning neon through her hand to break the ice that had started to crawl up her arm.

Her next look around the room draws her attention to the excavator in the far corner. She leaps off the walkway, dropping to the ground as she bleeds into neon and darts between the two Ice Titans and towards the corner. She’s up in the seat and bringing the machine to life the next second. She jerks the controls, gaze flicking between the dashboard and the Ice Titans lumbering towards her. The one that had nicked her the second time is closer, and closing fast. She swings the excavator claw around, extending it up and out. As soon as she dares, she yanks it back down, catching the Ice Titan right below the back of the neck.

With a grunt, she jams the controls into position, dragging Ice Titan across the floor and slamming it into a metal crate where the claw continues to try to pull back. The Ice Titan writhes and slams its fists on the ground but Fetch doesn’t spare another thought. She dashes out of the chair and slides in front of the next Ice Titan so it can’t reach its friend to help, letting off a few quick blasts of neon to get its attention before climbing on top of more of the metal crates.

It throws another cluster of ice balls at her and they ricochet off the ceiling, sending her dashing around the room again to avoid them. She slides to a stop and glances around. The ones from before haven’t even started to melt. Thinking fast, she dashes up the wall and back onto the walkway. Her first blast of neon at one of the balls ricochets back at her and knocks out one of the metal supports attaching the walkway and making the whole thing shudder. She’s forced to move then to avoid another blast of ice. She pauses long enough to aim at another one of the ice balls. This time, the angle is perfect, propelling the ball up into the air and crashing right into face of the Ice Titan and making it stumble.

Dashing back across the walkway, she aims at another. It takes a few more tries but soon she’s pummeling the Ice Titan with three balls of ice over and over again, building up the momentum until they crack and shatter apart, leaving her to find another few to start hitting it with. There’s a sickening crack and one of the Ice Titan’s arms crashes to the ground and splinters into thousands of pieces.

Fetch doesn’t miss a beat, propelling the ice balls into the other arm until that shatters and falls too. She’s about to start hammering its face again when it suddenly keels over, a strange wheezing noise escaping it as it does so. For a moment, she freezes, unsure. Then she dashes back to the ground, summoning neon down into her hand and sending it vibrating in a sharpened point, the energy humming as she sharpens it further before springing off the ground and sinking the point into the crack between its body and its face plate.

The Ice Titan roars as she rips it away and she can’t help a cry of her own as shards of ice slice across her face as she lands. What she sees when she looks up makes her stomach roll. The face staring down at her is swollen, one eye completely sealed over with ice and the other wide and unblinking with the strange blue glow she’d seen in Kuo’s eyes, and its mouth twisted in a snarl. She summons the neon back into her hand and propels herself forward at the speed of her light dash, neon enclosed hand ramming straight through its head. The feel of bone and the soft squish of its brain vibrates in time with the humming of the neon. She closes her eyes and wrenches herself back, dancing out of the way as the Ice Titan pitches forward and hits the ground, its entire body cracking open before exploding apart.

Panting, she stumbles over towards the excavator. The other Ice Titan has stopped moving, blood pooling all around its body. The crane continues to moan and grind against the metal so she runs back up into the seat and kills the switch before looking down at the mess it left behind. She barely stops herself from throwing up, the sting at the back of her throat making her cough and gag. The second she has her breath back, she dashes away from the carnage and collapses out in the hallway, her brain racing too fast from adrenaline to run through the directions in her head to get to Sasha.

“Fetch!”

She looks up, wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand before getting to her feet. Kuo comes to a halt in front of her.

“Moya?” Fetch asks.

“Still secure. I just got the security system dealt with, took longer than I expected. The Ice Titans?”

“Dealt with,” Fetch says.

Kuo squeezes her arm. “Come on. We’re almost done.”

Fetch follows after Kuo, unable to get the picture of the mangled, bloody mess in the storage bay out of her eyes as they reach the stairwell. Kuo stops two floors down, grabbing Fetch’s shoulders and holding her still. Fetch frowns as Kuo meets her eyes.

“What?”

“Are you okay?” she asks.

“Yeah, I got it,” Fetch says. “It was just…gross in there.”

Kuo doesn’t look convinced but lets her go. “I made sure we won’t have any barriers getting to Sasha. From what I can see, she’s in a tank. We might just be able to kill her without a fight, but knowing what I know about Sasha, she probably already knows we’re here.”

“What do you mean?” Fetch asks, brain still moving slow.

“Telepathy. She’s able to get into your head and make you see things,” Kuo says. “And it means she’ll know we’re here so it’s hard to really get a jump on her in any way.”

“Oh…”

Fetch doesn’t want to think about the things Sasha could make her see. They reach the bottom floor and head through a series of ever widening tunnels and Fetch judges they’re about a few hundred yards away from the large room Sasha is supposed to be stored in when she notices the walls are covered in splatters of a slick black substance.

“Don’t touch it,” Kuo says when she sees Fetch looking. “Cole said it burns.”

“Jesus,” Fetch says.

The tunnel gives way to what doesn’t look like a room but instead of a large cavern. Fetch almost steps into a puddle of tar, stepping back at the last second. The tank is at the middle of the room, a huge black metal container with pumps and pipes moving from the tank and across the floor to tubes full of dark sludge that line the walls. There’s leaks in the pipes here and there.

“Yeah I think avoiding touching the tar is going to be a little tricky,” Fetch says. “So what’s the game plan here?”

Kuo doesn’t get a chance to respond because the next moment, the tank is blown apart. Fetch grabs Kuo without thinking and hauls her back further into the tunnel to avoid getting splashed by the tar that starts to erupt and fill the cavern.

“I’m never speaking again,” Fetch says.

“Neon,” Kuo says as the tar creeps closer.

“What?”

“Neon, like the cuffs!” Kuo shouts. “Put it on our legs!”

“Oh!”

Fetch sends the neon shooting out of her fingers, biting her lip as she wraps it carefully around each of Kuo’s legs so it’s covered up to the knee in bright pink light, a solid barrier between her and the tar. She does the same to herself and tries not to think about how there’s no way to recharge. When she looks back up, she gets her first look of Sasha. Tar covers almost her whole body, only leaving her pale, shaved white head free of the mess. Some of the tar around her waist is thicker and Fetch stares as it thickens and then detaches from her body in a series of tentacles.

“Move!” Fetch shouts.

She and Kuo barely avoid the tentacles that lash towards them. Fetch spares a quick thanks to whatever God might be listening as she steps into the tar without a single flash of pain.

_So you’re here to put me out of my misery?_

The voice echoes around them and the air is suddenly hard to pull into her lungs, thick and wet.

_You can try, but I am the first. I was evolved before the Ray Sphere!_

Something heavy whacks into Fetch’s side and she flies through the air to land in a pile of sludge. A scream tears out of her throat as pain wracks her body. Her tears feel like they burn as they streak down her face and she gasps as she tries to push herself back upright, wracks of pain hitting her in convulsions. She’s barely gotten to her feet when another blow knocks her back into the wall, cracking the tube behind her and sending tar spilling down her shoulder and over her bare arm.

_Brent-_

_You freak-_

_Mom don’t she’s your-_

The pain leaves all at once and Fetch falls to the ground, fingernails scraping against…concrete? She looks up and flails back as a yellow, skeletal apparition lunges at her, swiping. She manages to roll to the side and dodge it as the air sparkles with purple and blue light, just like it did before she rammed her neon through Brent’s chest.

“This isn’t real!” Fetch screams. “I know your tricks! I’m not doing this again!”

 _No?_ Sasha’s voice echoes around her, amused. _Are you sure you’re not just a monster that only knows how to kill?_

The apparition lunges again and Fetch jumps to the side again.

“If I’m killing anyone it’s you!”

Sasha’s laugh makes the inside of her skull pound and she lets out another yell as she grips at her head. _So all you know how to do is kill, hm? Is that the solution to all your problems?_

“Shut up!”

Fetch grits her teeth. The next time the skeletal figure lunges she holds her hand up and lets a burst of neon go, catching it square in the head. The image flickers and it’s Brent, she’s hit Brent, that’s Brent’s face, blood pouring out of his head and down his face as he falls to his knees, eyes blank and-

She sends another beam through the image and the scene flickers again before blinking out of existence. Cold rage coils in her chest, burning out her fear and her grief. She doesn’t get to do much with it, because the next moment she’s got Augustine in front of her, Brent on his knees and trapped in Augustine’s concrete. Augustine grins and wrenches Brent’s head back, exposing his neck to her.

“Shall I let you do it again?” she asks. “Kill him in cold blood, like you did before?”

“It wasn’t!” Fetch shouts, letting off another blast of neon.           

The image flickers out of existence but then Delsin’s striding forward, urging her back as he approaches. “Wasn’t it? You said it yourself, _you’re_ the one that killed him. Not the dealers, not the drugs, _you_!”

Fetch screams and blasts his image away. “If it wasn’t me then that means…”

“It means what?” The voice belongs to Eugene this time and she whirls to see him dash back towards the tank. “That you’re never as in control as you think you are? That sometimes people just die and it doesn’t matter what you do?”

“Yes,” she says, voice breaking. “Because if it wasn’t me then…I can’t stop it from happening again.”

“Exactly,” Brent says and he lunges for her.

Fetch blasts him again and the images wink out of existence entirely, revealing Sasha instead. She leans against the tank, shuddering and shaking, and across the room Fetch meets Kuo’s eyes and sees a matching determination in her gaze. She doesn’t know what Sasha made her see. She knows it made Kuo angry though.

Kuo moves first, ice flowing out of her hands and building a tower of shimmering ice straight to the ceiling and just like that, Fetch knows what she’s planning and knows what she has to do. She lets Kuo set to work building another and dashes across the tar towards Sasha. She’s almost reached her when another tentacle lashes out towards her. With a guttural cry, she seizes it in her hand and yanks, bringing herself face to face with Sasha. For a second, she can see the shock in Sasha’s eyes.

She slams her head into Sasha’s and releases the tentacle so she can stumble back on her own. Her hand burns but the pain is the last thing on her mind. She glances down at one of the pipes and sends a quick blast to detach it from the ground before swiping it up off the ground and swinging it in her hands. Sasha tilts her head to the side, confusion in her eyes. Fetch grins and darts forward, slamming the pipe into Sasha’s head before kicking her in the stomach and sending her into a puddle of sludge.

Sasha screeches, the sound making Fetch’s head pound again. Before Sasha can move, Kuo is behind her, yanking her out of the tar and shoving her back towards Fetch. Fetch slams the pipe into her again, shoving her against the tank before sparing a quick glance around the room to see that Kuo has completed her work, surrounding them with reflective ice pillars. She lunges away as Kuo moves forward, covering Sasha’s form in ice.

“Do it!” Kuo shouts. “I’ll hold her but you’ve got to make this count!”

Fetch darts for the wall, dashing across it to build up speed and call her energy into herself. She can feel it burning off the tar that coats her body and she lets it build until she can feel it sparking off of her, out of control and desperate to attack. A quick turn sends her towards the tank and she holds her hands out, her energy pulsing out in a stasis bubble that surrounds her form and letting her hover in the air as the neon builds within her, hotter and faster. She knows this is all she has left. There’s nothing else.

The energy explodes off of her in ten beams, hitting each of the reflective ice towers and then back to the middle and right into Sasha. The building shakes and trembles as Sasha wails, the tar on the ground leaping up to cover the ice towers to try and melt them but Kuo’s there, building up the ice and letting Fetch’s power continue to build and strike Sasha dead on. Fetch’s body spasms as more energy flows off of her and all at once, the pain comes rocking back into her body.

She cries out and gives one final push. The ice towers explode under the power and she falls to the ground alongside the tank. There’s no sign of Sasha, outside her charred skeleton anyway.

“Holy fuck,” she croaks.

She looks up as Kuo stumbles over to her, but before she can point out that she _fucking melted Sasha’s body away_ , Kuo falls into her and pushes her back against the tank as she presses their lips together. Fetch freezes, arms stuck somewhere between reaching out and going limp on the ground. Kuo pulls away before she can decide.

“Sorry, I just…” Kuo smiles, then laughs, sitting back on her heels and clutching at her stomach.

“What?” Fetch giggles, gasping for air as she tries to get rid of the hysterical feeling in her chest.

“We have to…Moya, the scientists,” Kuo says, shaking her head. She can’t seem to stop smiling.

“Right,” Fetch says, reaching back to brace herself against the tank and push herself upright.

They lean on each other as they head back down the tunnel and with each step, Fetch becomes more and more aware of every ache and pain and burning sensation from the tar. The steps nearly kill them both. By the time they reach the top, they both have to stretch out on the metal floor and catch their breath.   

“I can’t remember the last time I worked this hard,” Fetch says as she helps Kuo to her feet after.

“Are you completely drained?” Kuo asks.

Fetch nods. “Oh yeah.”

“Then we better hurry up.”

Moya is right where they left her, hands bound in neon and legs iced together. Kuo waves her hand and dissolves the ice covering her lower half and mouth, absorbing it back into her arms. Watching it just makes her wish she could recharge even more. For a moment, they sit in silence. Fetch wishes Moya would talk so they wouldn’t have to do anything to make her talk. Her brain is already too frazzled.

“So what now?” Kuo asks. “This was your last chance at getting what you wanted and you were stopped again, so what’s your plan?”

“You’re just going to kill me, so what does it matter?” Moya asks with a twist of her lips up into a smirk.

“Oh no, we’re not killers,” Fetch says. “At least, not in the way you think.”

“I’d much rather see you jailed for treason,” Kuo says. “Between massacring the survivors in Empire City after the Beast destroyed it and what you’ve done here? That’s a lot of charges for treason.”

“I acted in the best interests of the republic,” Moya says, lifting her chin.

“Yeah your emails about overthrowing the government are still pretty treasonous. Pretty sure motive doesn’t change that,” Fetch says.

Moya raises an eyebrow, looking over at her instead of Kuo. “Oh, so like murder?”         

Fetch glares but doesn’t respond, knowing anything she says wouldn’t help.

“One thing I don’t understand,” Kuo says. “So you thought it was smart to overthrow the government, I just don’t get why.”

Moya laughs, head falling back. “God you’ve lost your touch Agent Kuo. Any novice agent could see what you’re trying to get me to do.”

She looks back at Kuo, and Fetch steps forward in between them at the crazed look in her eye.

“Easy,” Kuo says, grabbing her shoulder and pulling her back.

“Like you said Agent Kuo. This was my last chance to get this godforsaken country back on track,” Moya says. “I saw Empire City first hand. The country has forgotten how Conduits can ruin the lives of the average person all because Augustine and her bleeding heart couldn’t finish the job.”

“You think what she did to us was kind?” Fetch shouts, and Kuo pulls her back again before she can slap Moya or worse.

“She should have put you down the animal you are,” Moya says. “Do what you want. All I can hope for is someone out there hears the sense in my words to continue what I’ve tried to do.”

“I’ll tell you something,” Kuo says as she steps closer to Moya. “It’s something Cole told Bertrand. It’s the people behind the powers that kill, not the powers themselves.”

“That’s rich, coming from you,” Moya says.

“Yes, it is,” Kuo says. “I did what I thought was right at the time because I thought we had no other choice. And people died because of my decisions. I went to Curdun Cay and I suffered for seven years and I’ll gladly serve a life sentence if that’s what people think I need to do to make up for what I did. But you were planning on using a Conduit you tortured out of her mind to kill civilians just to gain control of the government. You’re just as bad as the Conduits you claim to fear.”

Moya doesn’t say anything in response. For that, Fetch is grateful.

 

-.-

 

They leave Moya and the scientists tied up in physical bonds and neon that Fetch absorbs after returning to Sasha’s tar pit to find neon lodged in the ice shards. It’s enough to bind them, but Kuo has to drag her out of the compound and through the desert. The only relief is that it’s night time so no one notices them straggle into town and climb into their car. On the drive back to their hotel, Kuo takes over. Fetch falls asleep and awakens to Kuo supporting her weight and swiping the key through the lock.

All at once she’s aware of the pain she’s in, the sharp burning wherever the tar touches her and the bone deep ache that comes when she’s drained. The tears well up next and she collapses on the floor the moment Kuo steps away. When Kuo grunts as she kneels down next to her, Fetch flaps her hands dismissively.

“I’m okay, just…” She swipes at her eyes. “God I’m such a fucking girl.”

"If emotional expression is the determination of gender, then I’m a man,” Kuo says, prompting a hysterical giggle from Fetch. “It’s not a bad thing. Cole cried twice in New Marais.”

“I guess if the Demon can cry I can too,” Fetch says.

"That’s the spirit,” Kuo says. “I’ll shower first. I think the outside of the hotel lobby has some neon signs.”

Fetch drags herself to her feet and un-clips the camera harness. She drops it on the bed and heads back out on trembling legs. She finds the small shack containing the front desk and true to Kuo’s word, there’s a vacancy sign flashing in the window. The front desk agent is asleep at the desk so Fetch absorbs the neon and stumbles back to the room. With the energy surging though her, the pain becomes bearable. She can feel the burns under the tar scarring over and pushing the toxins out.

It makes her more than grateful for the fast healing ability. She doesn’t even get a chance to sit before Kuo emerges from the bathroom wrapped in a towel.

“Leave you clothes on the floor,” she says. “We’ll burn them on the way out of town.”

“Thank God.”

Fetch digs clean clothes out of her bag and sets them on the bathroom counter before hopping in. The tar doesn’t come off neatly. The water doesn’t even make it smear and the soap just comes away covered in grime. In the end, she claws the substance off of her, revealing sensitive, newly healed skin beneath it from the neon that courses through. She opens one of the spare soaps and scrubs herself down, mind sluggish. She knows it will hit her later. The things Sasha had forced her to relive would come up and bite at her in her dreams and her waking thoughts once the fog of exhaustion cleared.

For now though, she could sink into the warmth of the shower. When she feels clean and the water’s gone cold, she emerges and dries off before pulling on clean gym shorts and a ratty tank top she’d stolen from Delsin’s dresser. She leaves her soiled clothes in a pile with Kuo’s and heads back out. Kuo is stretched out on the bed uploading the footage from the first camera.

“This is yours,” Kuo says. “I’m cutting out all of the unnecessary things but…the footage of our fight against Sasha will be useful. I’m assuming you don’t want the audio.”

Fetch swallows, remembering what she’d screamed at Sasha. “Yeah, better not.”

Kuo’s face shifts, almost like she’s going to frown. “Can you edit my footage to send to Eugene? I don’t really…”

“Yeah I got it,” Fetch says.

“You should sleep for now though. I’ll wake you up when I’m done and we can trade,” Kuo says.

Fetch doesn’t need a second invitation.

 

-.-

 

Kuo shakes her awake just after midnight and they trade beds. Fetch plugs her headsets into the laptop and hooks up Kuo’s camera to start downloading footage. She hadn’t had enough energy to dream, so she already feels halfway normal. Thirst for neon is the biggest distraction, flitting around the edges of her mind in a way that would have been distracting before Curdun Cay but Augustine had liked to train her Conduits to fight without their powers.

 There’s an hour of footage of them trekking through the desert that she cuts and deletes. She’s grateful she doesn’t have to relive her fight with the Ice Titans, the thought alone making her stomach clench again and Jesus she’s gonna have a lot of nightmares in the future. After some consideration, she cuts the footage of Kuo hacking the security system and then ducking under the desk to cut wires of the system directly. There’s no reason to include something like that. She turns up the volume but Moya is entirely silent for the whole ordeal and there’s only a tiny glimpse of her stone-walled face when Kuo leaves.

Seeing herself slumped against the wall is weird. An uncomfortable, panicked feeling curls in her chest when she sees the almost zombie like look in her own eyes. She hadn’t felt that out of it, at least not the way she remembers it. For a moment, she debates cutting the footage out because she doesn’t want to see that look in her eyes on the news or the Internet for the rest of her life, but people…people should know, she thinks, that they didn’t _want_ to do this. That they wouldn’t but themselves through this hell unless they had no other choice.

She leaves the footage in.

Seeing the fight against Sasha again is just as odd as seeing herself through the camera. The visions she’d shown had seemed so real, but the room is eerily silent as she and Kuo become enthralled in her images. She can hear her own distant yelling but it’s Kuo’s that nearly overshadows it.

“I’m not that! I would never do it again you fucking bitch! I would sacrifice myself over and over again if it meant they would live. Shut up! Shut! Up!”

Ice shoots out from Kuo’s hands and Sasha dodges to the side.

“Nix that’s not true! I never wanted this, never wanted you…no!” Her voice cracks and turns into a sob. “Cole it isn’t…I swear! No!”

A beam of ice shoots out again and Sasha manages to dodge only to get hit with a burst of neon right after. Fetch hits pause and swipes at her eyes. The pain in Kuo’s voice…Fetch knows what Kuo’s been through. They’ve talked about it. But hearing how badly it cuts into her is new and it hurts more than Fetch expected.

She rushes through the rest of the footage, wanting more than anything to be done and hold Kuo close. When she’s done, she sends the footage off to Eugene and shuts the laptop. The panicked feeling in her chest drains out all at once when she turns to look at Kuo stretched out on the bed, deep in sleep. Fetch rolls off the bed and climbs into Kuo’s. After a moment of hesitation, she reaches out and squeezes Kuo’s shoulder. Kuo jolts awake, then goes still as she realizes it’s Fetch.

"Sorry,” Fetch whispers. “I just…can we…?”

Kuo pulls her down in response, wrapping an arm over Fetch’s waist and tucking her face into Fetch’s neck. Fetch clings tight to her until morning.

 

-.-

 

_“I’ve included the link to the full footage downloaded below but I think the confession of Moya Jones I just showed speaks for itself. There is a rebel faction in the military that was going to force a Conduit to do untold damage to civilians to force the country into martial law and kill the President. The emails I’ve linked to prove that. Thanks to the hard work of Fetch and Lucy Kuo, that isn’t going to happen. At least, not if we don’t want it to.” Delsin smiles into the camera. “You’re welcome. I’m calling on the President to indict these military officials as well as House Speaker Sessions for plotting treason against the American people. And all you hardworking protestors? I see you. And I’ll see you in person in D.C.”_

-.-

 

_“Riots have broken out coast to coast-“_

_"A march on Washington-“_

_“Delsin Rowe hinted he’s speak at the event and the army will be standing guard of-“_

_"The President announced this morning that General Matthews and Representative Sessions were both detained late last night-“_

_“-has done little to quell public outrage-“_

_"Moya Jones and two scientists, Dr.-“_

_“President Johnson says she wishes to meet with-“_

-.-

 

“You want me to what?”

Kuo gives Fetch a curious look as she finishes lacing up her shoes. Fetch wishes she could glare at Delsin through the phone.

“Meet us in D.C.,” Delsin says.

“No, that part’s fine, it’s the part that comes after it that I’m not a big fan of,” Fetch spits.

“Come on,” Delsin says. “We’ve gotta go all in on this. The people are on our side Fetch, the people are on _Kuo’s_ side! This could be what pushes everything over the edge. We could make history!”

“I’ll show up, but only so I can save your dumb ass,” Fetch says. She ends the call before Delsin can say anything else.

“What was that about?” Kuo asks.

“There’s a huge march on D.C. planned. He thinks we should speak and turn ourselves in because he’s convinced we’ll be pardoned for all our work,” Fetch says with a roll of her eyes.

When Kuo doesn’t immediately agree, Fetch turns to look at her. Kuo’s facial expressions still aren’t, well, _expressive_ , but Fetch can usually read what she’s thinking in her body posture. Kuo doesn’t seem bothered.

“It’s not a bad idea,” Kuo says.

“What?”

"If the government arrests us, then the government has a full blown riot in the capitol city and if that happens, they’ll be out of power and in the middle of a civil war in seconds,” Kuo says. “It’s the only chance any of us have at being pardoned.”

Fetch’s anger dries up. “Wait…you don’t want to be arrested or executed or whatever the fuck anymore?”

Kuo looks down, fingers fidgeting and twisting together. “I guess…no, I don’t.”

“Oh…” Fetch shifts from foot to foot. “So when you kissed me…”

“Mostly I did it from relief but also…”

Fetch grins. “You like me.”

“I can kick you from here you know,” Kuo says, but when she looks up her face is bright red.

"So I guess if we’re gonna ride off into the sunset, we gotta be legal citizens again, huh?” Fetch says.

“I’d like that, yes,” Kuo says. “Fighting Sasha, what she made me see…I did my time. More than enough. If people want to keep torturing me for it they’re more than welcome, but I’m not going to just let them any more. I was forced to sit by and let people punish me for seven years. I’m not sitting and I’m not wallowing. Not anymore.”

“You know it’s not that easy right?” Fetch asks.

“Obviously. But seeing you…watching you deal with what the world has given you? It makes it feel possible,” Kuo says and then shrugs. “I don’t want to die. Not anymore. That doesn’t mean I’m happy or that the world is perfect now, but not wanting to die every moment is a good first step.”

“Can I kiss you again?” Fetch asks.

Kuo looks startled. “Sure.”

Fetch steps over to her, cradling her face with gentle hands as she presses their lips together. She’s never kissed a woman before, at least not with any sort of intent. She likes it though. She likes the coolness of Kuo’s lips and the way her fingers curl, loose and relaxed, around Fetch’s wrist. When she pulls away, they’re both a little breathless and a small smile is tugging at Kuo’s lips.

“I’m so happy to hear you say that,” Fetch says.

“We have to finish what we started though,” Kuo says. “And then…maybe we’ll find time for more of that.”

Fetch smiles.

 


End file.
